


mrfiveohone

by DarthDoritos



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Anakin Skywalker Needs a Hug, Anakin your Vader is showing, Angst, Broken Dreams, Car Accidents, Caregiving, Chatlogs, Chatting & Messaging, Darth Vader Needs a Hug, Drama, Eventual Romance, F/M, Force Visions (Star Wars), Grief/Mourning, Human Disaster Anakin Skywalker, Hurt/Comfort, Medical Conditions, Medical Trauma, No Beta, Planet Mustafar (Star Wars), Planet Naboo (Star Wars), Planet Stewjon (Star Wars), Prophetic Dreams, Psychological Trauma, Reader is against the Empire, Reader-Insert, Slavery, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Tooka Cats (Star Wars), Vader your Anakin is showing, i decided on the fly that reader should be from stewjon, i made it make sense, i mess with canon's timeline because i hate it, the author has a learning disability, there's a lot of chatting but there's also a lot of physical and mental descriptions
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:35:08
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29018298
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthDoritos/pseuds/DarthDoritos
Summary: You are a bookstore owner who connects with the mysterious 'mrfiveohone' on a messaging website. Will you ever figure out his true identity? And what if a casual, online friendship promises to bud into something more?ON HIATUS.
Relationships: Anakin Skywalker | Darth Vader/Reader, Anakin Skywalker/Reader, Anakin Skywalker/You, Darth Vader/Reader, Darth Vader/You
Comments: 94
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This one has been sitting in my brain for some time. Let's see if I can actually pull it off, eh? 
> 
> There are brownie points for anyone who figures out the book reference in this chapter! Furthermore, since that book is now in the public domain, I technically own it and can reference it as a I please.

**wWelcome to the Galactic Intranet Super Chat!**

**If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please click the banner at the top of the page. An operator will direct the individual to services in their system.**

**If you suspect a user of being treacherous to the Empire, please use the report button and provide screenshots of the incriminating messages. An officer will be assigned to your claim.**

**The time stamps associated with each message are listed according to your planet’s time zone system. The given time may not reflect the time stamps displayed on the screens of other users.**

**Connection times may differ based on a variety of factors, including your connection, local weather conditions, and the number of users logged into the chat system.**

**Please visit our FAQ page for more information. You can read our privacy policy and see what we do with your data here.**

**Death to the traitors! Glory to the Emperor!**

**\---**

You ( **lovelyreadingalien** ) have connected with ( _togrutagruta_ ). Say something nice! 

22:18 **Hey.**

User ( _togrutagruta_ ) has been disconnected due to a poor wireless connection. 

22:19 **Damn. I hate that.**

\---

You ( **lovelyreadingalien** ) have connected with ( _ittybittybantha_ ). Say something nice! 

22:25 **Hello there.**

22:26 _Oh, come on. I’ve got to answer that a certain way._

22:26 **I know. That’s why I sent it. Never was much for those kinds of HoloNet dramas, though.**

22:27 _What? Come on. Yeah, the dialogue’s bad, but you’ve got to admit McEwan Gregorian is pretty hot._

22:28 **Okay. He is.**

22:28 **But I’m not sticking around to let you have your stupid joke.** **Hah.**

22:29 _You’re the one that started it!_

You have disconnected from the conversation. 

The image of McEwan’s face popped up in your mind. Yep. Definitely the one of the hottest stars on the HoloNet.

\---

You ( **lovelyreadingalien** ) have connected with ( _threesixtynoscope_ ). Say something nice!

22:33 **Hey.**

22:33 **You doing alright?**

22:34 _kriff you_

22:34 _kys stupid_

22:35 **How mature.**

You have disconnected from the conversation. 

That happened to you so often on the Intranet that you were immune to such antics, now. Still. It was disheartening to see that so many people could not be bothered to avoid taking advantage of the freedom the anonymity of the web gave them. Some people really were that miserable in life, you surmised.

\---

You ( **lovelyreadingalien** ) have connected with ( _thebiggestgentleman_ ). Say something nice!

22:38 **The biggest gentleman, huh?**

22:39. _Yep. That’s me. A lot of people don’t appreciate that side of me, though._

22:39. **Really? How come?**

22:40. _Because of the way I look. I’m trying to save up money to undergo plastic surgery._

22:40. **I bet you don’t look that bad.**

22:41. _You’d be betting on the wrong thing. See, I’m the kind of guy that doesn’t have the facial shape of attractive males._

22:42 **I didn’t know facial shape mattered that much. And I speak as a woman.**

22:43. _Oh. Of course, you don’t know. Your sex is guided by things beyond your understanding._

22:43 **Have you even tried just being decent to women? Maybe cleaning up if need be? Also, have you tried not saying things like “your sex” around us?**

22:46. _Hm. You may have a point there. I guess I have plastic surgery as something to fall back on._

22:47 **You don’t need plastic surgery. Somewhere in this galaxy, there’s a girl for you. And she’ll love you for the person you are. But you need to be confident enough to go and get her. And you need to treat her right.**

22:49 _You’re right. You’ve given me hope._

22:50 **I’m glad I could do that for you.**

User ( _thebiggestgentleman_ ) has disconnected. 

22:51 **Well, don’t ask me how I’m doing. That’s fine. That’s totally fine.**

Your mother always told you that you were too nice for your own good, even to people who really did not do anything to deserve your kindness. You lamented that old habits really did die hard as you clicked the button to request someone else to chat with.

\---

You ( **lovelyreadingalien** ) have connected with ( _rawrrawr_ ). Say something nice!

23:01 **Hey.**

User ( _rawrrawr_ ) has disconnected. 

23:02 **Oh, come on.**

\---

You ( **lovelyreadingalien** ) have connected with ( _mrfiveohone_ ). Say something nice!

23:10 **Please be nice. Please be nice.**

23:11 _I take it you have been having a difficult time on this website._

23:11 **Oh my goodness. Yes! It’s been terrible.**

23:12 _I, unfortunately, can say the same. It makes me wonder how useful the Intranet has proven to be._

23:12 **I don’t take it you’re the kind of person who likes waste.**

23:13 _How astute of you._

23:13 **Just going by what’s obvious.**

23:14 **Anyway, what brings you to the chat system? Looking to kill time?**

23:15 _I am looking for a distraction._

23:16 **Same. My planet’s weather is abysmal at night. Don’t see how people can go out and party in this unnatural heat we're having.**

23:16 _If they wish to galivant at the risk of heat stroke, it is their business._

23:16 **Yeah. Guess you’re right. It’s better to stay in at night.**

You found yourself at a loss for what to say; or really, you found yourself at a loss for what to type. This was the most civil encounter you had ever had with someone on the chat system. A part of you was excited at meeting someone who was willing to talk in such a way as user mrfiveohone. Most people you talked with for more than a few minutes were out to get random answers out of you or were recording you through the video chat function.

23:20 **I’m sorry that this is awkward. I don’t exactly know what to talk about.**

23:20 _Likewise. I have noticed how difficult it is for me to talk to someone in a casual manner._

23:21 **You must not get out much.**

23:22 _You could say that._

23:22 **I don’t either. Most of my interactions with other people, outside of chat systems like these, happen at my shop, and those are few and far between, nowadays.**

23:22 _You own a business?_

23:23 **Yeah. It’s a bookstore. And before you say anything, yes, people still read and collect flimsy-based books.**

23:25 **Some of my products are hundreds of years old. There’s just not that many repeat customers. Not many on my planet can read with the schools being gone, and fewer have the money to invest in books outside of the cheap ones on the datapad media store.**

23:26 _I see. Did you open this business knowing that?_

23:28 **It was inherited. Sure, it’s not the best, but it’s a way to make money. I could either take over the store or become a bounty hunter. People will reject those digital books eventually.**

23:28 _You would have been wise to choose bounty hunting._

23:28 **What do you do, if you don’t mind me asking?**

The man- you assumed he was a man based on his use of ‘mr’ in his username- began typing and then erasing his reply. The typing bubble appeared and disappeared as he did so. It took him three attempts to craft the reply he sent you.

23:30 _I am a minor civil servant._

23:30 **Then your days can’t be any more exciting than mine.**

23:30 _I suppose._

You could tell that you caused the conversation to shift in tone when you asked what he did. You decided to reel the conversation back into a happier place.

23:33 **You don’t talk much. I’m not bothering you, am I? I tend to ramble when I’m nervous, and this is the longest I’ve ever talked to someone on here. I was starting to lose hope I’d ever get connected to someone who could carry on a normal conversation.**

23: 35 _I believe in being concise, as being long-winded comes at the behest of reliability. No, you are not bothering me._

23:36 **Yeesh. I would have thought you were the one that owned a bookstore. Still, I suppose you have to be that way.**

23:36 _You have no idea._

23:38 _So. You own a bookstore._

23:38 _How much do you read in a week?_

23:39 **I tend to read three books a week. I can make it through five if they’re shorter. I read my wares as much as I read my digital competition.**

23:40 _Do you not have any physical competitors that are worthy of your attention? With business being delicate, I cannot imagine you take threats to your profits lightly._

23:41 **Nope. As far as I can tell, I’m the last of my kind in my system.**

23:41 **I have to say; it’s terrible being a part of dying breed. Course, we’ve been dying out for some time.**

23:43 _Indeed. It is terrible._

You thought about asking him what he meant by that. You wondered briefly if perhaps he was a member of a species, kingdom, or religious order the Empire was quietly doing away with across the galaxy. Maybe his being a civil servant was a way to survive. Being a civil servant was one option, outside of being a bounty hunter and a bookstore owner, that was available to you in the aftermath of your parents’ passing, but your personal politics made you choose the store owner route in life. Working for the Empire was unthinkable. With the chat being monitored, you did not dare push a question about it.

23:46 **Is it morning where you are? I already told you it was night here.**

23:48 _It is morning, but you could not tell by looking out at the atmosphere. The mining here corrupts everything._

23:49 **Really? Must be a toxic planet.**

23:50 _It is._

It would be uncouth of you to ask where he lived, especially since he did not ask anything about where you lived after you told him it was hot that night. Besides, you had your personal safety to considered. 

23:52 **Do you read? I hear that civil servants have to pass a cultural examination.**

It was the most awful part of the civil service selection process, in your opinion. It assumed certain cultures, and, by extension, works of literature, were more primitive than others. Those that were more civilized- more _human_ were to be prized by the potential operational officers of the Empire.

23:53 _I am guessing you are referring to works of literature. No. I do not._

That was surprising, but you guessed he was probably pretty busy in his day-to-day life, and that made him more likely to spend his free time on the Intranet. He could mess around without having to think too much. Still. A part of you felt like you should at least share a recommendation or two.

23:54 **Would you like me to recommend a book to you?**

The ominous bubble returned.

23:57 _I am curious to see what you come up with._

You thought momentarily if he was testing you. Well, this was a test you knew you could pass.

23:58 **Would you like something newer? Modern? A prequel or a sequel to something you may have already read? Or would you like something classic?**

His reply came more quickly than you thought it would.

23:58 _Classic._

23:59 **What did you like reading when you were in school?**

00:01 _I do not remember much of what I read in school._

That made things easy. You decided to recommend him your favorite book, seeing as it was popular in galactic undergraduate literature courses. You sent him the title before you gave him a description.

00:03 **This book is about a man who pretty much changes his whole life for one girl. He throws these lavish parties and creates a business empire just for her. His entire life hinges on her acceptance of him and her rejection of her current husband.**

00:04 _I see._

00:05 _I shall look into it._

A sense of relief passed over you. Whatever that test was, you suddenly felt like you could pass it. You did not know why passing his test mattered so much to you. After all, he was only a stranger on the Intranet. But perhaps having your first civil conversation with another organic being in months was enough to get your emotions invested.

00:06 **You wouldn’t mind if I friended you, would you?**

00:08 _I would not mind. I doubt I am going to find someone else that can carry a conversation like you._

00:08 **Right back at you.**

You have added ( _mrfiveohone_ ) to your friends list. You can now create private conversations with this user by clicking on their profile and clicking “PM User.” 

His reply came shortly after he also added you to his friends list and the ‘new mutual’ banner faded from your desktop screen.

00:10 _After all, I need a way to inform you of how much I enjoy this book recommendation of yours._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reader is naive. Oh so very naive. 
> 
> Thank you for your support! This is the first time I've written anything like this.

User ( _mrfiveohone_ ) was last online two days ago. 

If your father’s ramblings were to be believed, civil servants had time to spend on things that did not pertain to their jobs. The message that popped up when you clicked on the man’s profile was as disheartening today as it was when you encountered it the day before.

You decided to send him a message anyway.

You have started a private chat with ( _mrfiveohone_ ). Say something nice!

20:20 **Hey. I just wanted to see how you were liking that book.**

That was not the whole truth. The past two days were painfully slow at the bookstore. No one entered your store, much less perused the window display you spent three hours painstakingly putting together. Dejected and alone, you hoped the man would be online to remind you that you were still capable of making the right decisions. Your confidence in your ability to pass his test had faltered. His remark about becoming a bounty hunter still resonated with you. If he got some enjoyment out of the book you recommended, then you were at least somewhat vindicated in your path in life. A store owner should know her wares. 

You were also warned by your father to avoid putting too much stock into the opinions of other people. One inevitably finds themselves using their feedback as a replacement for one’s inner voice.

20:22 **I tried to pick a shorter one. I didn’t know how you’d feel about length.**

You regretted that message as soon as you sent it. Who were you to think that you had to explain such things to him? Who were you to think that he would appreciate such an elaboration on why you recommended what you did?

It was as you prepared to shut down your desktop that the light next to his profile picture of a Star Destroyer turned from red to green. The dramatic irony of such a display was not lost on you, given the book that was up for discussion, but your attention soon turned to the typing bubble that appeared in the PM box.

20:25 _I noticed._

You sat back down at your desk. He answered the question that popped into your mind before you had the chance to type it.

20:25 _I finished the book today._

20:26 **Does this mean you liked it?**

“Please say yes,” you murmured to the bubble.

20:26 _I thought it was one of the worst pieces of dull entertainment I have ever had the misfortune of sitting through._

Damn.

20:27 _I will admit that I decided to listen to the audiobook._

20:28 _It did help me focus during work._

You wondered if your father, wherever he was, caught on to the fact that you had encountered a civil servant that did something during his work hours. You also wondered how an audiobook could help him focus during work, but you decided against asking. He certainly sounded more effective at his duties than most. His being a minor civil servant was enough to quell your anxiety about his daily responsibilities; you figured his job was more local and bureaucratic in nature rather than active in the military occupations happening across the galaxy. You were strong in your ideals, but you also did not grudge a civilian man needing a paycheck who got caught up in the war machine.

20:28 **I can accept that.**

20:29 **I apologize if I disturbed you in any way. I was just curious.**

20:30 _If you had disturbed me, it would have been made clear to you._

That struck you as ominous. But given the nature of the way the man typed, you figured what he said came off differently than the way he intended. There was also something so enchanting about the way he decided to be eloquent on a chat website like this. It would not be that way if he was pushier. He seemed like he was trying to keep his distance as much as he seemed busy. You wrote messages in full sentences because a lifetime of being around books made you naturally inclined to write like you were composing one of your own.

20:31 **Good. I’m glad.**

20:32 _Is there anything else you require from me?_

Yeesh. Even if you had not disturbed him, it did sound like you caught him at a bad time. You wondered if he was trying to let you go without hurting your feelings too much.

20:33 **No. That’s all.**

He did not offer a reply. Instead, the green light next to his avatar became red once more, and his profile changed from ‘online’ to ‘offline.’ His prompt reply proved that he was not intent on ghosting you, at least.

You decided to wait until he reached out to you before you spoke with him again. You were not about to become the only person in this potential friendship who was putting forth effort. If he wanted to talk to you, then he had to grow some balls and reach out to you when he could.

It was three more days before he messaged you. You were running the numbers from that day’s sales when a notification popped up on your monitor. You decided that the numbers could wait.

21:33 _I did enjoy the last few pages of the book. Though it was not to my taste, I do not want to give you the impression that I am ungrateful for your recommendation. Or your attempt to contact me again._

21:34 **It’s my favorite part.**

21:35 _I can say the same._

You waited to see if he would go offline or choose a different topic of conversation. Though he was as articulate as he was concise, a sense of awkwardness hung around him, which you could sense even through the lines of code that created his messages.

21:36 _And what of your store?_

You stared at the message with furrowed eyebrows. You read it aloud before you realized that he was asking how it was doing. Of course that was what he was asking about.

21:38 **It’s going alright. It did better today. Some people were in town for a festival and decided to stop by.**

21:39 _I take it you did not attend this festival._

You smiled.

21:40 **I did when I was younger. I went with my family. Now that I’m grown, I just don’t see the point in doing anything with it. No one asks me to help, either.**

21:41 **The best part about it is the fireworks show, and I can see that from the window in my apartment.**

21:42 **I don’t really like crowds. Do you?**

His reply was quick.

21:42 _Absolutely not._ _Too many distractions._

21:43 **I agree! I’ve always been cautious about crowds. You never know when you might catch something.**

21:44 _A business owner who is concerned about coming into contact with people? I may have stumbled across a rare specimen._

This made you snort. A part of you expected him to be witty.

21:45 **Bookstore owners are a different breed. Our customers aren’t the type to talk much, anyway.**

21:45 _So I would assume._

To your surprise, he kept typing.

21:46 _Do you really think you made the right decision in choosing to be a bookstore owner?_

Well. That was forward.

21:48 **For the most part? Yes. I’d rather do what I love and not profit much from it than do something I don’t agree with for money and influence that can’t last.**

21:50 _Interesting._

It was the answer you told yourself, and you agreed with it, for the most part.

21:51 **What about you? Do you like your job?**

He could always lie if he was worried about Imperial detection.

21:52 _It possesses its benefits._

21: 52 **That’s not what I asked you, though.**

21:52 **Do you like your job?**

21:53 _I am ambivalent towards it. I do not think about how much I like my job. I perform it._

You guessed the encryption built into the PM system was his reasons for being so open to the downsides of having to deal with the Imperials, even if his answer was as vague as some of his other answers. You were aware of how the Empire viewed even its biggest proponents as expendable.

21:55 **You sure you can say that?**

It was an obvious joke that could arguably be a message of support for the Empire if the need arose, but he did not take it that way.

21:57 _I appreciate your concern, but I have modified my personal profile with extra security measures. I can speak freely._

Your sense of being impressed faded as quickly as it appeared. Your gut instinct told you to assume this could be a front to get you to express your true opinions about the Empire. Admitting you were a bookish person may have been enough to arouse suspicion in him about your potential leanings. You never sold banned materials in your store, but you read them when you got your hands on them. Beneath your store was a cellar housing all sorts of banned materials: a plethora of religious texts, political manifestos, and myths and histories of the many alien peoples becoming second-class citizens and being sold into slavery across the galaxy. It even housed pulp romance books deemed too risqué to the bland and wealth-influenced tastes of the Empire. The reason your favorite book was allowed to stay in circulation was because of how it criticized the idea of the masses rising up to positions of wealth and power as unattainable.

Of course Imperial spies lurked on these types of websites. Why would they not? You played with fire every time you logged onto the Intranet. This was no different. The key was to get close enough that you enjoyed its warmth without getting burned.

21:58 **You must be very technologically gifted.**

That was a decent enough reply, was it not?

21:58 _Indeed. Though, mechanics are my strong suit._

22:00 **Would you take another recommendation if I said I had one for you?**

You did not have one, but you wanted to change the subject.

22:01 _I would welcome anything that helped my focus._

22:01 **Alright. Give me a moment to think.**

You turned around and looked at the bookshelf you kept on the wall opposite your desk. It contained all your personal favorites- the titles that you kept coming back to when you needed inspiration or comfort.

22:03 **How about some poetry? There’s this Nubian poet that I really like. His eighteenth sonnet is my personal favorite.**

Once more, the typing bubble appeared and disappeared like an animal peeking its head out from its den to check for potential predators.

22:05 _I would prefer something else._

22:06 **Not into poetry?**

22:06 _I am not partial to poetics._

Fair enough.

22:07 **What do you like? What are you into?**

22:07 _What do you mean by that?_

22:08 **Like, music. HoloNet films. Sports teams. Hobbies. Stuff like that.**

22:08 _I used to enjoy podracing._

That did not surprise you. Many in government positions made up for their salaries through betting networks. That is, if they wanted to avoid getting involved with illegal trade or, worse yet, the Hutts.

22:09 **I bet you made quite a bit of gains with podraces.**

22:09 _You have no idea._

Something brushed up against your leg, and you looked down to find your Tooka cat looking up at you with pleading eyes. You realized you promised her some Tooka nip for behaving so well at the vet that evening. She may not have understood Galactic Basic, but she did understand what you were referring to. Come to think of it, her litter box probably needed to be cleaned, too. You had yet to get your cleaning droid fixed.

22:10 **Sorry. I need to go deal with my cat.**

22:10 _I should be logging off myself. I have matters I need to attend to._

22:11 _Do not worry. You did not distract me from them._

That made you feel better.

22:12 **Would you be free to talk again this time tomorrow?**

22:13 _I will rearrange my schedule to make time for you._

He did not give you the option of replying before he went offline. You would have contemplated his capacity for abrupt exits again had your cat not taken to clawing at your pants.

“Okay!” you said. “I’ll get you some nip. Jeez.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Cheeky allusions. Cheeky allusions everywhere.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We get a little more of Reader's backstory in this chapter, and it's kind of dark.

19:47 **Okay. I’ve bypassed the security protocol and opened up the droid’s main processing unit. What do I do now?**

19:48 _Show me a screenshot of the readout on your monitor._

19:49 **You sent ( _mrfiveohone_ ) an image. **

19:49 **That’s what it looks like.**

You had been going back and forth with him for an hour as he guided you through the repairing of your cleaning droid. You mentioned the day before that you lacked the time and the expertise to do more than simple maintenance work on the droid. To your surprise, he diagnosed that you would have to work on the droid’s inner computer to get it to work again, and he walked you through the steps to unlocking it.

19:53 _I despise these newer models. Too many shortcuts._

19:54 **Do you know what’s wrong with it?**

19:54 _Yes._

You sighed. He was unbearably thick sometimes.

19:54 **Well? What do I do?**

19:55 _You need to perform a manual reset of the entire system. What likely happened was someone introduced a bug to all functioning models through connections at the company’s headquarters. I would not be surprised if a news story broke about this in the coming days._

19:56 **Who has time to sit around and put bugs in cleaning droids?**

19:56 _You would be surprised._

You set about performing the manual reset. Much to your chagrin, there were various reset options for different parts of the droid, and all of them would have to be pushed and their functions waited on before the process was complete. You did not tell him that. He had admonished you for purchasing such a dysfunctional, cheap droid numerous times since you had started working on it.

20:01 _Is that a picture of Felucia on your desktop?_

He could have only seen the edges of the image. It was mostly blocked by the chat window and the droid’s control panel menu.

20:02 **Now, how did you know that?**

He hesitated.

20:03 _I have been there before. I would recognize those mushrooms anywhere._

You smiled at the thought of your new friend walking where your family had walked for hundreds of years.

20:04 **My extended family lived there. I remember my father taking me to see them every year when I was little. They were farmers. We helped with their harvest.**

None of them were around anymore. They all died as a result of the Empire’s occupation of the planet. They were unable to keep up with the demand for crops, and their rations were cut until they wasted away. They found your paternal uncle in his house, and since he had been the last one left on Felucia, there was no one to bury him. When the news reached your parents, they both went to a dark place. The light and happiness that filled your childhood home disappeared. The only time they resurfaced from that place was shortly before they died.

20:06 _I see._

He possessed an obnoxious habit of doing that; he would ask you a question, and since it would not be too personal that millions across the galaxy could not give a similar answer, you would oblige him. He would then withdraw back into himself, almost as if the answers you gave him caused him emotional turmoil. You chalked it up to him being shy, even in a scenario where his real identity was of no real concern.

20:07 **How many times have you been to Felucia? I haven’t been since I was a teenager.**

20:09 _A couple of times. I never stayed for very long._

That brought you a certain measure of peace. If he was an Imperial, then any nefarious business he wanted to conduct on that planet would have to take a considerable chunk of time. That is, if he was not lying to you. Considering how helpful he had been to you in the past few days of talking, you so desperately wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt.

20:10 **I hope you found the locals to be hospitable, at least.**

He typed out a message and then deleted it. This happened three times before he sent you another question.

20:11 _What got your family into the book business? I take it your father had to start it, since your family was comprised of Felucian farmers._

20:12 **Happenstance. My father and my mother went off-world after eloping. They docked their ship for repairs and were getting something to eat while they planned their next move. The dejected previous owner was trying to get out of the business, and he overheard them talking. He made them an offer right then and there.**

20:13 **You know when you get an opportunity, and you just have to take it?**

20:13 **That’s how it was.**

20:14 _Yes. I understand that mentality._

20:15 _Do you wish they would have stayed on Felucia? Do you think you would be better off if they had stayed?_

Your fingers stayed frozen on the holographic keyboard in front of your monitor. You had never considered how different your life would be if your parents had decided to lead agrarian lives like the rest of your extended family. Maybe your early life would have been more secure. Your parents would have had a steadier stream of income. People you were related to would have been nearby to help them if they ever needed anything. You would have developed a closer connection to your family members, and you would have been closer to the culture of Felucia.

But then you remembered the truth. And even though he was an Imperial, you felt you had to tell your new Intranet companion that truth.

20:17 **Had they stayed on Felucia I would not be here to talk with you.**

20:18 **I will not grieve for a past I can’t live when I lived through one of the few scenarios where I do come out alive.**

20:18 **I actually value my life, and though I haven’t been able to do everything I want to yet, I’m not going to give up.**

20:18 **Happy?**

It was here that you understood how much you just sent to him- an Imperial, whose rank and influence you had no way to ascertain. For someone who said they valued their life, you certainly made a dumb decision letting your emotions get ahead of you like that.

20:20 _I see._

20:20 _And what would you like to do with your life? You said there is a lot you have yet to do._

20:21 **Travel. I don’t care where. As long as the planet isn’t an Outer Rim planet.**

20:21 **I’ve had enough of this part of the galaxy.**

20:21 _As have I._

You were about to ask him what relationship he had to the Outer Rim outside of the podraces when a notification popped up on your monitor. The manual reset was finished. As if on cue, the power light on the droid began to flash.

20:22 **The reset’s finished!**

20:23 **And the droid works!**

20:23 **Thank you so much for this.**

20:24 _Anytime._

20:24 _It was nice to spend an evening doing something intellectually stimulating._

You did not want to admit it, but you felt the same.

20:25 **This time tomorrow night? I’ve got to get this droid to work on my apartment. I’ve got some bookkeeping to do, too.**

20:25 _Of course._

He logged off. You learned that was about as good of a goodbye as he was capable of giving, but you felt strangely honored to have received it. You wondered what he got up to in his free time when he was not talking to you. And a part of you was nervous to ask. Not just because he was an Imperial, but because you did not get the impression that he was a particularly happy individual. The questions he asked you were as reflective in nature as they were pointed.

Tomorrow, you would ask him what his deal was.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vader, your Anakin is showing. 
> 
> Also, I did some META brain stuff in this chapter.

**_You ran a hand over his cheek. He flinched at the touch, and you had been purposely slow in your movements to give him plenty of warning about what you were about to do. He kept his eyes trained on his folded, prosthetic hands as you traced the ridges of the scar. His grip on his hands did not tighten, and his shoulders relaxed at your touch._ **

**_“Am I hurting you?” you asked. Even if he was relaxed, you knew enough already to know that every touch, every movement, and every thought was agony for him._ **

**_He only shook his head._ **

**_“Good,” you said. “Ani, I’ve got to say. I’m sorry for being such a distraction on your day off.”_ **

**_This made him chuckle, but he still would not look at you._ **

**_“It’s not a big deal,” you said, the words hanging heavy in the light, filtered air. You thought he understood that with your willingness to follow protocol for entering the hyperbaric chamber with him, along with your willingness to caress his face._ **

**_You supposed you did feel some measure of disgust towards him. Your morals and your personal history made sure of that. But you also remembered who he was to you, along with who he had been before life caught up with him. You could accept him as part and parcel of the machine that was destroying you and everyone else, and not even he had been spared in the cataclysm of galactic politics._**

**_Your mind could only ponder the length of time between the last time someone was gentle with him and this current moment- this almost glorious moment where you finally got to look into his eyes. God! Those eyes! They glowed just like the bioluminescent mushrooms on Felucia. You used to follow them home at night when you went out with your cousins. And now, here was something in the exact color, and they were guiding you who-knows-where._ **

**_And you got to hear his real voice._ **

**_“I did not care myself until we agreed to meet,” he rasped. “It would have been dishonest of me…” He trailed off to catch his breath._ **

**_You straightened up in your seat. Already, you were reviewing where the medical equipment was in the chamber and where it was stashed in the outside room. He raised a hand to quell your worry._ **

**_“It would have been dishonest of me not to show you.” He haphazardly gestured to the closed hyperbaric chamber. “You did not deserve to see the mask alone.”_ **

**_You reached your other hand up and, pressing your fingertips into his cheeks, lifted his head from its dejected posture. It was here that he got the courage to look into your eyes._ **

**_“And I will be forever grateful you did, Ani.”_ **

You bolted upright in bed, your shirt sticking to the skin under your arms and under your breasts. Before your bed was a menagerie of flimsy photos, drawings, and diagrams. Though your eyes fell upon it as you struggled to catch your breath, you swore you could still see the man’s deathly pale face and his blue eyes in your vision.

The man’s name almost floated out of your mouth, but you came to your senses and realized that you were awake in your bedroom, and it stopped in your throat. It faded from your memory, along with the sound of his voice, when you turned over to go back to sleep. The eyes, however, did not. Those blue eyes remained embedded in your mind. 

And they followed you as you opened and closed your shop the following day.

20:00 _Do you think he was great?_

20:00 **Who?**

20:01 _The man in the book you told me to read. The man the book is about._

If you had to guess, your online friend had already forgotten what the characters’ names were. He did not seem like the type of person to whom minutiae was necessarily relevant. It was right to the heart of the matter with him, or he did not touch on the matter at all. You kind of liked that about him. 

20:01 **Ah! Yes! Well, I guess that depends on what your definition of "great" is.**

He spent some time crafting his reply.

20:03 _Do you think doing all of that for one woman was noble on his part?_

Oh, no. He was bringing you back to your school days and when you had to debate stories with your classmates. You wanted to tell him you only sold literature, and you did not spend time dissecting your wares as opposed to passively consuming them and knowing their plot details.

20:04 **Noble? I don’t know if getting involved in organized crime is noble. But, yeah. Doing something for someone you love is great.**

20:04 **I think even that has its limitations, though.**

20:05 _I see._

20:06 _What about him wanting to marry someone above him? Socially?_

That was an easy question to answer, as you were ever the romantic.

20:06 **I think a relationship should be founded on love and trust. Social status shouldn’t be a big deal.**

20:07 _And yet so many with high statuses would disagree with that sentiment._

You could bite back at that.

20:08 **And yet so many don’t sell-out for that oh-so-coveted status. Some people get opportunities but turn them down because they have morals to uphold.**

He went silent. His profile, however, remained ‘online.’ You waited for him to start typing, but a reply never came.

20:11 **Was it something I said?**

20:11 _No._

20:11 _I was thinking. That is all._

20:12 **Why does my opinion about that matter?** **I thought you said you didn’t like the book.**

20:13 _I merely wanted to know what you thought._

20:13 _I found myself thinking about the book today as I did my work on the ship I was assigned to._

From what you could gather, he was reassigned to different ships often. He had previously commented that he was liable to be pulled away from his monitor, and you deduced that “civil servant” meant more than just “ship registration clerk” or “engine maintenance crew member.” You supposed someone with a penchant for travelling would like that kind of life- if they were to get past the perfectionist and fascist demands of the Empire. Even the kindest could, like the protagonists of that book, find themselves among snakes if they were not careful in choosing their opportunities. The stars you wanted to see would lose their luster before your eyes, almost as if they were collapsing in on themselves, and be no different than pixels on a screen.

20:15 **What made you think of that silly book?**

20:15 _The words of a fellow civil servant._

20:15 **What did he say that was that bad?**

To your surprise, he told you.

20:16 _He criticized where I came from in a roundabout way. He made a comment about people from the Outer Rim and our “tendencies.”_

20:17 _I could not help but think about that book._

20:17 _This person is a member of an important family, and much to my dismay, he is a favorite of my boss._

It was time to make another bold move.

20:18 **You don’t really like the people you work with, do you?**

20:20 _Those within the lower ranks are usually better than those with higher titles._

20:21 _I have to deal with everyone._

20:21 _It would be an anomaly if I got along with every single one of them._

20:22 **I can tell you aren’t a people person.**

20:22 **Don’t worry. I’m not, either.**

20:23 **If you haven’t already figured that out.**

He did not say anything for a while. You eventually got tired of waiting for him to elaborate and, not wanting to push any issues further, went about checking your emails. You had gathered a decent idea of why he was so closed off by him describing his experiences at work. You had no doubt you might be as ornery as he was if you had to deal with people like this other “civil servant.”

The notification sound alerted you to a new message as you were deleting promotional spam.

20:33 _I do not possess faith in people._

20:33 _I have seen the most despicable things._

20:34 _No. I am not a people person. How could I be?_

Your instincts told you to click away. You had to delete your account. You had already gotten too invested. You were lucky you were using a fake IP address. It had you on a different planet. But damn. That stupid, begrudging, compassionate heart of yours that you were admonished about all your life reared its ugly head the moment you considered he could be remorseful for the life he chose. A sad Imperial was better for the galaxy than one numb to it all.

20:36 **I hear you.**

20:36 **I do.**

20:37 **You joined because of someone else, didn’t you?**

20:37 **And that’s why you asked me about my opinions? Because you related to the book?**

20:39 _Something like that._

You were pushing it. You really were. But you had shared so much.

20:40 **And they aren’t with you anymore?**

You could almost feel the sad smirk that fell on his face.

20:41 _Something like that._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bonus points if you know who the other Imperial is.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In which the Reader lives because there are Apple Pay-like options for Imperial credits. 
> 
> Also, it becomes very obvious that this story is written by an American. 
> 
> I dropped the parenthetical notation format. All previous chapters have been edited for them. It was even starting to annoy me.

You were beginning to realize just how beneficial it was to have an Imperial as a friend.

Your genial mood was ruined when two Stormtroopers and a man in an officer’s uniform showed up at your store. You kept a blaster underneath the counter where you kept the cash exchange computer, and you began eyeing it, along with possible escape routes should you need to bolt when they were not looking in your direction. Did they know about the contraband? Were you a suspected rebel? Did your mysterious friend rat you out for being critical of the Empire?

“Good afternoon, madam,” the officer said. “Would you mind if we took a look around?”

You visibly gulped. “Go ahead.” You gestured to the shelves around you.

The officer practically pranced around your shop. Occasionally, he would run one of his spiny, gloved fingers across the embossed letters on some tome you had displayed. The two troopers stood in front of the door, blocking anyone from entering or leaving and with their blasters held in standard position.

You had a very bad feeling about the officer.

Whether he was just an interested customer or scoping you out, you were not enthusiastic to discover. You would gladly lose money if it meant getting him the hell out of your shop. Besides, you did not like the haughty way with which he carried himself. Imperials usually did that when they knew they had the upper hand on a civilian. That was normal, but it was behavior that had yet to be directed at you until today.

When his back was turned, you whipped out your portable communicator and logged in to the messaging system. Your hands were hidden by the counter. You were certain the viewports in the troopers’ helmets were too small for them to watch you in their peripheral vision. If the officer asked, you could always say you were logging in to the Imperial Credits Exchange system to process his potential payment. You could say the cash exchange computer was down, and you would have to use your communicator for any transactions.

It took a lot to keep your fingers from shaking. If he was the reason they were there, then there was no reason to avoid contacting him. They already knew you had contacted him. If not, then perhaps there was something he could do for you.

12:45 **there are imperials in my shop! Bothering me**

He immediately started typing. You caught him on what you would later guess was a break.

12:45 _How many?_

12:45 **2**

12:45 **1 officer, 2 sts**

12:46 _Get me their information. You are allowed to ask that. For whatever reason._

“Uh,” you began.

The officer turned to you and gave you a coy smile, his hands folded behind him. “Is there something wrong, young lady?”

“Can I ask for your officer number?” You pointed to the two troopers. “And can I have their identification numbers, too? I’m allowed to know that. As- as a galactic citizen.”

The smile faded. “My name is Lieutenant Reeper, and my number is one-two-two-zero-one-six. Those two assholes are tee-kay-zero-five-two-zero-zero-five and tee-kay-zero-five-one-nine-eight-three.”

You pressed your lips into a grin. “Thank you.”

You typed that into the messaging box and sent it as soon as he looked away from you.

12:47 _Give me a moment._

Lieutenant Reeper walked over to the rug in the middle of the shop, which was also right in front of the counter. It was originally from Naboo, but it served a different purpose other than being ornamentation for your shop. Beneath that rug was a door to a cellar that contained your contraband.

 _Come on, man,_ you thought. _Come on. He’s close to figuring it out._

You watched as the officer ran one of his boots across the pattern in the rug.

“You keep this dump pretty clean, don’t you?” he said, cocking his head in your direction. One of the Stormtroopers giggled at his remark, his voice modulator straining his voice into sounding like that of a droid’s.

“Quiet!” Lieutenant Reeper snapped, pointing at the trooper.

“Is there anything I can help you with?” you asked.

You wanted to buy as much time as possible for your friend to get those assholes out of your store. And honestly, where were your manners as a small business owner?

He looked down and tapped his foot against the rug. Anyone with working ears could tell that his tap produced a hollow echo.

He did it again. And then another time. On the third additional tap, something thumped audibly beneath your feet. The tapping had caused one of the banned books towered high in the cellar to fall over.

You locked eyes with Reeper.

Tears were already swelling up in your own.

That coy smile returned, and you knew you were screwed.

You took one hand off your communicator and fingered the blaster. Your fingers grazed the trigger before cupping it and the handle.

The Stormtroopers had yet to move or do anything with their blasters, and you wondered if they even knew what was going on- what was passing unspoken between you and the officer.

You watched in horror as he slowly bent over and began peeling back the rug.

You were certain he was going to discover the latch that opened the cellar.

You were certain you only had a window of a few seconds to take a shot at him before you had to duck to avoid the inevitable barrage of blaster fire from the Stormtroopers.

That is, until Lieutenant Reeper’s commlink beeped.

He rolled his eyes, stood up, and turned away from you, holding the commlink to his ear. The corner of the rug he grabbed fell unceremoniously back into place. As the person on the other end talked, he turned back to you, his eyes squinted in annoyance. As that person kept talking, Lieutenant Reeper’s mouth and eyes opened wide in shock. You observed three beads of sweat collect on his brow. They congealed into one and coursed down the side of his face.

He hung up on the call and turned to you.

“You have a lovely store here, ma’am,” he said. “If you have any concerns at all, feel free to inform any of us local officers. Let’s GO!”

Reeper pushed past the two troopers. They followed him without being as nervously courteous as he had been.

You let out a long sigh before letting go of your hold on the blaster and pulling your communicator back out.

12:50 **OMG**

12:51 **Thank you.**

12:51 **You really saved my ass.**

He spent some time on the next message.

12:53 _It appears as though they were there on a normal shopping trip. It is what he logged his journey away from the Imperial base as, anyway. Going by the record, it seems like Lieutenant Reeper was assigned to your jurisdiction during the recent festival. He has a habit of scoping out the locals using standard Imperial intimidation tactics._

12:54 _But it does not matter what he wanted. I can assure you I will make sure he does not bother you again._

There he went being ominous again. But you were too frazzled from your recent encounter to notice. You were almost in a situation where you needed to kill a man.

12:55 **I owe you one.**

You conversed together later that evening. He demanded to know everything that happened in your store, from the moment Lieutenant Reeper and the troopers entered to the moment Reeper stormed out like a sweaty maniac. You were both in agreement that you were lucky your friend happened to be perusing his personal computer at the time. He had also left the chat system open in another window.

20:56 **Are we really safe to talk with your modifications?**

20:57 **Sorry, but today’s events got me thinking.**

20:57 _You have nothing to worry about._

20:58 _It would take someone more competent than I to bypass what I have in place._

20:58 _Such a person does not exist, to my knowledge._

It was arrogant, but it was so blatant that it made you chuckle.

20:59 **Still. I pretty much lost a customer.**

20:59 **It’s been slow again this week.**

And much to your surprise, he made your day even better. Not only did he save you from being arrested or becoming a killer, but it seemed like he was willing to save you from another crisis: that of unsteady business.

21:00 _Suppose I was to place an order for a book. Could you get it sent to my ship?_

You remembered that him getting in touch with Reeper meant that he now knew where your store was. Where you lived. Some of your anxiety about that was alleviated by the fact that he stuck up for you that day. You also remembered that he was often too busy to fuss with minor details. By the time he remembered to trace your location again, he would encounter the fake IP address. If he was willing to tell you which ship he was on, then you at least gained a little more info about him. Maybe this was his way of making things even?

It sounded stupid even to your anxious mind. 

21:01 **Sure! Whatever you’d like.**

21:01 **The Imperial Mail is a bit slow out here, though. But you know how that is.**

21:01 _INDEED._

21:02 _I imagine you know which title I want._

20:03 **I thought you hated that book?**

20:03 _It was the first title to cross my mind._

20:04 **User (mrfiveohone) has sent you an Imperial Credits Exchange link.**

It was more than enough to cover the price of the book, along with standard, galactic shipping.

20:04 **Great. I’ll send it out tomorrow morning.**

20:05 _I will arrange a place for it in my office._

Speaking of cleaning, you also needed to go downstairs and straighten up the cellar. You could not find an inconspicuous time during the daylight hours to peel back the rug and find the book that fell.

You stood up and were about to make your way downstairs when you remembered something about his package. You were far too caught up in the moment to have neglected to ask this.

20:05 **One last thing!**

20:06 **I’m going to need a name if I’m going to send it to you.**

The book that fell was a tome of ancient Jedi history. Your father was elated when it came into his hands. It was the only one of the three Jedi texts you had whose origins you were unsure of. You only had one memory regarding its existence. One night, about a week after he procured it, he called you into the kitchen. After you were both seated on the floor, he began to flip through it. You were both struck by the smell of must that settled around you. No one had opened this book in decades.

“Oh!” you exclaimed as he was turning through the pages. “Let me see that illustration!”

Your father turned the book around to you so you could see it better. You observed what looked like a stained-glass menagerie photographed and pasted above a short bit of text. The man in the center around whom tendrils of blue, red, and purple flowed sat cross-legged and with his head bowed, and around his head was a golden crown of wavy hair. You traced his hair with your pointer finger, along with his jagged cheeks formed by pieces of triangularly cut glass.

“Wow.” That was all you could say as you read the inscription. It also showed what planet that piece had previously been held on. “A prophecy, eh?”

“Hmm. Yes. Do you remember Anakin Skywalker, [y/n]?” he asked.

You nodded, still looking at the picture. “Yep. He saved grandpa’s farm.”

“He did more than that.” He pointed a finger at you. “He taught your family how to fight against the pirates. He and Ahsoka Tano both did. And we have to preserve this. Because we have to preserve what they stood for.”

Two more books of Jedi history would come into your father’s possession after the rise of the Empire.

One came from a woman named Jocasta Nu, who was passing through and was so smitten by your family’s commitment to keeping contraband that she offered up a tome she had taken from the Jedi Temple. She claimed it was insignificant enough for her to give it away, but it was important enough for the Empire to deem it unfit for civilians. You never heard from her again.

The second came from a Wookie that refused to say how he came across it. Only that an old friend of his had left it behind after he went away one day. He knew your father was the man to give it to because “a Wookie knows a truly honest soul when he sees one.”

You had that page with the photograph bookmarked, and you turned to it briefly. It never ceased to amaze you.

Closing it and clutching the book once to your chest, you placed it back on top of the other two and made your way out of the cellar. You had an order to put together. For someone on the freaking Executor.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refuse to believe the Ancient Jedi didn't see more of Anakin's life. If Kreia saw it, then they certainly did. 
> 
> Bonus points if you can see the Easter eggs in the TK numbers.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another short one! We're about to get to a big conversation between these two.

You dropped off the package for “Ani” at the local Galactic Post office. The woman behind the counter eyed you curiously after she read you were shipping something to the Executor aloud, and you could only nervously smile in response. The dangerous items scan showed there was nothing nefarious in the package, and she waved you on your way. You were almost to your shop when you received the notification for the shipping receipt on your communicator.

He promised you it would make it to him, since what he gave you was a nickname he was given by his fellow officers. You did not exactly believe that, but you digressed. You were a step closer to figuring out this mysterious fellow’s identity. He also had to tell you his personal room number on the ship.

If you were being honest with yourself, a voice in the back of your head wanted you to pursue a friendship with him for the sake of figuring out who he was. You did not want to blackmail him based on his opinions. You were just elated to have found someone that you were discovering, more and more, was just like you. The way he addressed you was enough to make you want to get to know him more. His eloquent yet succinct way of speaking made every word he said (or wrote) impactful. He was restrained, sure, and he seemed to be dancing around you. It was like he wanted to engage with you more, but he was terrified of getting too close to you. You were a liar if you said you were not also scared of getting too close to him. Just because you were afraid of that did not mean that was not what was happening though. Him saving your life had permanently changed your dynamic.

You pulled your communicator out as soon as you made it to your store.

8:42 **Hey! Just mailed your book. Here’s the tracking number.**

8:43 **You sent ( _mrfiveohone_ ) an image. **

He did not reply, but you thought nothing of it. You knew he had responsibilities. He could always thank you later.

User ( _mrfiveohone_ ) was last online three days ago. 

He was so dedicated to making time for you that your mind went to the worst possible conclusions for that notification. Maybe some tragic accident happened onboard the Star Destroyer, and he was in a coma. Maybe he was caught and was being interrogated for his comments. Maybe he was struck by some illness a prisoner of the civil war brought onboard.

Or, maybe, since he was on the Executor, Lord Vader got ahold of him.

Lord Vader. You had seen his image on the HoloNet. That skull-like mask reminded you of the ones worn by the now-deceased shamans on Felucia. Despite the similarity, you doubted, based on what you had heard of his behavior towards his subordinates and civilians, that he possessed the same benevolence of spirit they had embodied. You heard an audio clip of his respirator a few years ago, and you would also be a liar if you said you did not sometimes hear that _hoooo-purrrrr_ noise in your nightmares.

The thought of your friend dying at his hand was enough for you to consider putting a word in at your local cantina that you would like to join the Rebel Alliance. Someone from their ranks could get in touch with you then, surely.

You would give him two more weeks. If he failed to contact you by then, you were going to put your politics to use and crush the people curtailing what you kept in your cellar. You did not want to admit it, but he was beginning to be the only thing keeping you to the life you currently had. If someone as sweet as “Ani” had the capacity to be swallowed by the war machine, then it was your duty as his friend to put a stop to it.

It was another week before you heard from him. Yet again, you were cleaning out your emails when he messaged you.

20:00 _I want to apologize for the lack of communication on my behalf._

20:01 _I received your package._

20:01 _Thank you._

20:02 **Is everything alright? You vanished.**

20:02 **I saw an attack on your ship on the HoloNet.**

20:02 **I was worried.**

You were. You sat in your apartment and, with your Tooka cat on your lap, watched as the Imperial News Agency played a clip of a Rebel attack on the Executor. Shots landed and TIE fighters crashed into its bow, leaving craters as if the ship was a moon enduring a period of heavy bombardment. Normally, you would have been somewhat pleased to see the Rebels taking a stand. But as you watched the battle unfold, you were only concerned about the safety of your friend.

You saw Lord Vader’s TIE Advanced swoop around numerous Rebel ships. Without needing to fire a single shot, he cleverly led the Rebels into crashing into each other. While the remaining Rebels were distracted, reinforcements from the docking bays of the Executor emerged and transformed them into fireworks in the vacuum of space.

You never thought you would be relieved to see _him_ doing his “work.” Your friend’s username made sense to you, now. If he was working on the Executor, then it was likely he was employed as a part of the 501st Legion. He was probably some minor officer involved in their upkeep.

20:03 _Everything is alright now._

20:04 _I also had an appointment to attend to._

20:04 _I am never in a good mood afterwards._

20:04 _I did not want my sourness to dampen your spirits._

Well, that was nice of him. You wanted to mention that you had almost become a terrorist in his absence. Given that he had just survived a Rebel attack, you thought it was best not to.

20:05 **I wish you would open up a bit more.**

20:06 **You have been so kind to me.**

20:06 **I wouldn’t have done well in an Imperial prison. If they didn’t just go ahead and execute me for what they found in my cellar.**

Again, you could practically feel the snarky smile that spread across his face.

20:06 _Indeed you would not._

20:07 _It is out of respect for you that I withhold things like that._

20:07 _You would not want me to be as open with you if you knew certain truths._

Now, that was unfair. Whatever it was that he hated about himself, you doubted he could be that bad. You knew that he worked under people who were far worse than he.

20:08 **Ani, you know how I feel about the Empire.**

20:08 **I know you hate your job.**

20:09 **And I’ve been open with you about a lot. I told you about my family. My fears.**

20:09 **Didn’t you say this chat was encrypted and safe for us to use for our confessions?**

He was silent for a few moments. You wondered if you should back it up and apologize for being so forward. He seemed to have difficulty expressing minor opinions, and personal details proved to be exponentially more difficult. The slightest pushback would lead him into closing back in on himself like a dying star. It would be a while before you could learn anything else about him.

20:12 _You are correct._

20:12 _It is safe._

20:13 **I regard you as a friend.**

20:13 **You can tell me what’s on your mind.**

20:14 _As do I._

20:14 _So be it._

And what he told you next changed everything you thought you knew about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Vader's opening up, and Reader's starting to put two and two together...
> 
> And the package shipping process will be explained soon, too! Ani's got that locked down.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ani's use of coded language is abundant.
> 
> I watched ROTS and Shattered Glass to see if I could better translate Hayden's way of speaking into Vader's prose. 
> 
> TW: Slavery, references to assault and prostitution, poverty, suicide, war, medical issues, and just general unhappiness. I did make up some details, considering how little we know about Anakin's childhood before Watto and the Boonta Eve podrace.
> 
> I don't know how this one is going to go down. I'm writing my own Vader/Reader fantasy, so there's that.

20:15 _You graciously told me about your family._

20:15 _Allow me to tell you about my mine._

20:16 _I was born a slave on a cargo ship. And I was born a slave to a single mother._

20:17 _There is a reason I hate the Outer Rim, like you. I was raised on Tatooine._

20:18 _It is a decrepit hive of scum, villainy, and dust if I have ever seen one. I have visited many corners of this galaxy, as I have told you. Believe me when I say it is almost unmatched in its putrid nature._

20:18 _I was lucky when I was born._

20:19 _A physician happened to be onboard when my mother had me. I was able to have my shots._

20:19 _They were going to cut me from her with a rusty knife they found in a junk pile. He stepped in to stop it._

20:20 **User ( _mrfiveohone_ ) has sent you an image. **

The image contained a caption: “This is one of the few pieces of my former life I still possess. I no longer identify with it, but I do not have the time to come up with a better story. I would also hate to lie to you.”

That day was the day you learned that slave births, when they were counted, were counted using property deeds. The paper possessed no name but instead bore his identification number, and the way it was listed let you know that it did not function as a Republican or Imperial social security number. The description on the document came from an accessor, which you also had never heard of. It listed the fact that he had his shots. Everything else was a detailed hypothesis about what he could look like when he was older if he grew up under normal slavery conditions. You noticed some highlighting where the accessor claimed he would be handsome enough to be repurposed as a profitable human sex slave. The only name listed outside of the accessor’s was Gardulla the Hutt’s.

Nothing about this document was indicative of it belonging to an ordinary, secure citizen. You wondered what would have become of him if he had never escaped. It seemed that, no matter what route he chose in life, he was mostly doomed to being in the service of someone else, especially considering what he told you about where he was now. You had no idea how he lived with that knowledge. Had he even bothered to let his mind wander to that conclusion? Or did he see the pain that resided in that realization?

20:22 _My mother told everyone that I did not have a father._

20:22 _That was true, as I did not have a father figure. I would never call the male masters I had father figures._

20:23 _But most people interpreted that as she had been assaulted or was paid for sexual services by a man we would never encounter again._

20:24 _I was fortunate never to have been separated from her until I won my freedom._

20:25 _She had to be creative to ensure that. I was not weaned off of her until I was three, when Gardulla lost us in a bet._

20:25 _Slaves in decent climates should consider themselves lucky. Our plights are similar, but at least they have the luxury of SOME comfort._

20:26 _I won my freedom in a podracing competition, and you would be surprised at how few slaves were able to do that._

20:28 _Considering that the only other option for paying a master your “value” involved back-alley organ harvesting, it seemed like racing was a better bet._

20:29 _Still. Even though I enjoyed racing after that, each race was tainted by the knowledge that I would have died on that dust ball had I not been lucky._

20:29 _Most people who know that about me are dead._

20:30 _I do not have the time at this point in my life to bother with racing. Nor have I been able to preserve any interest in trivial things._

20:31 _Our conversations do not count._

20:32 _After I had my freedom, I fell in with what became a band of hired mercenaries._

20:32 _I fought with them and the clones in the Clone Wars._

20:33 _There were a lot of mercenary groups in the galaxy at that time. Many of them are gone._

20:34 _I have presided over their deaths with the Empire as I did when I was a part of one._

20:35 _I was on the side of the Republic. I hated what they did, but it was better to work for them than for the Separatists._

20:35 _You know that as a Felucian, do you not?_

You were about to type out that yes, you understood that very well, but he kept typing.

20:37 _My mercenary group was as outdated as they were ineffective._

20:38 _You should have seen what they did to a girl I fought beside._

20:40 _I found her weapon abandoned. A weapon I helped improve._

20:41 _It had been discarded like it was LITTER._

It had never occurred to you that he could have endured so many traumatic things prior to his time in the Empire. You wanted to hit yourself for thinking this; reflecting on the pain that had followed him since his youth, you could see why he both hated and wanted a copy of that book. Just like life had tainted podracing for him, so had he tainted that book for you. Never again could you read it without thinking about how many were living similar lives across the galaxy. Reaching, and reaching, and reaching…

20:44 **You mentioned you joined the Empire because of a woman.**

20:45 **What happened to her?**

There he went again with his starts and his stops.

20:47 _I was informed that my wife and unborn child were in danger._

20:47 _I was convinced that joining the Empire would be a way to save them._

20:48 _They had access to resources that I, in the circumstances I had found myself in, did not._

20:50 _I was performing my new responsibilities when I was attacked._

20:51 _When I came to, I was informed that they were already dead._

20:53 _I had nothing left but a job to do for the galaxy. The Clone Wars were over. So, I stayed with the Empire. I knew there was never going to be an opportunity to turn back._

You found you had leaned back in your chair as you read the barrage of messages he sent you. All you could do with a story such as his, if it was true, was absorb it. Your Tooka cat rubbed up against your legs, almost like she sensed your turmoil at reading what he wrote. You picked her up and let her rest on your lap. You realized how lucky you were to have her. You realized how lucky you were to have the locals who went out of their way to greet you during the week, even if they did not have the funds to buy anything from you. You realized how lucky you were that scene with Lieutenant Reeper was the closest call you had ever experienced with the Empire.

20:55 _Well?_

Right. He at least deserved to know you had been listening.

20:56 **I don’t know what to say.**

20: 56 **But I will say thank you.**

20:57 **For opening up to me like that.**

20:57 **You’ve come pretty far in life. You know?**

20:58 **I would never have dreamed, if I had been born a slave, that I could have what you have now.**

20:59 **And with what you’ve lost considered.**

He typed out three different messages before he sent one.

21:01 _It depends on your definition of “far.” As well as “life.”_

21:02 _I do not view myself as a person that has had the opportunity to live their life._

21:02 _At this rate, I never will be._

21:03 _I am employed to do a job. It is that job that I do. It does not matter to me whether or not I enjoy myself as I do it._

That was depressing. You tried to swallow the lump that had formed in your throat as he told you the story of his life, but you could not get it to go down. You made your cat jump down from your lap so you could focus solely on what you wanted to ask him.

21:05 **Ani, have you ever been happy?**

21:05 **Like, truly?**

21:05 **Without any inhibitions?**

He seemed to ponder that last message.

21:07 _I do not know what it feels like to be happy without inhibitions._

21:07 _So the answer is no._

You had a feeling that would be his answer. That did not make it any easier to hear.

You realized how long you had spent listening to his story after you checked the time on your desktop. You came away from that conversation with a deeper appreciation for him, almost like he was putting a face to the people behind the events you saw on the HoloNet- the events you heard talked about all your life.

21:09 **Can I ask you one more question, Ani?**

21:10 **You were so kind to let me in on this.**

He said nothing. You took it like he was giving you room to ask what you wanted to.

21:11 **Was it a boy or a girl?**

Another hesitation.

21:13 _I have no idea._

21:14 _But I would have been fine with either._

**_You took your hands away his face and turned from him. Your eyes caught sight of a discarded oxygen mask, and it rested on the floor with its plastic tubing coiled like a snake primed and waiting for a striking opportunity. He still was not completely safe in the chamber. He still was not completely uninhibited in the chamber. He still was not completely_ himself _in the chamber._ **

**_All at once, the reality of what you were seeing hit you, and your vision became kaleidoscopic from the tears collecting in your eyes. The rainbow streaks that cracked your vision were the only bits of color you found in the chamber, aside from his blue eyes and the flashing lights on the chest panel. The cold air that followed him ceased to penetrate you, and you were aware of how bright and how hot the lights at the top of the chamber burned. Surely, a surgeon would have needed less light. The respirator, which before now had been a staple of your nightmares, now seemed reminiscent of the dying moans of the mangled mother Tooka you rescued your current cat from. The same desperate yet resigned look graced his face now, even if some of it was hidden by the collar._ **

**_That collar. You learned that it was drilled into his face. While he was awake. He possessed a stereotypical sign of his servitude and dependence that he could never remove without experiencing great discomfort._ **

**_Your bottom lip trembled. Your nostrils filled with snot. And a deep, gnashing, and throbbing ache suddenly emerged in your chest, and it spread into your throat where it tightened until you could barely breathe yourself._ **

**_“I’m sorry,” you croaked._**

**_You felt your face contort as you sobbed, and you put one of your hands over your mouth. Even now, after he had completely opened up to you, you were self-conscious. You wanted to seem worthy of what you now knew of him. What you now knew of the galaxy, even._**

**_“I-I didn’t realize it would be this bad,” you said. “Your health, I mean.”_ **

**_You felt the need to explain every movement you made to him. You were the one that entered what was one of the few places he could have privacy in the galaxy. You needed him to know exactly what the problem was; it was not what he looked like. It was not the fact that he needed so much to survive. Far from it. You were just consumed with trying to understand that the man you had grown to hate, the man you had grown to consider a friend that was more than a friend, and the ailing man sitting next to you were all the same person._ **

**_“I’m speechless,” you added, turning back towards him. “I don’t know how you do it. It brings me so much pain to know that this is your lot.”_ **

**_“Do… what?”_ **

**_“Live,” you said. “I don’t know how you’ve been living like this. I don’t know how you haven’t- “_ **

**_You stopped and waved a hand dismissively. “I can’t finish that sentence.”_ **

**_Out of the corner of your teary eyes, you saw a sad smile spread across his cracked lips. It was so macabre that he was smiling at what you left unsaid, but the instinctual voice in the back of your head told you he was smiling at the fact that someone was acknowledging the ruminations that went on in that very chamber without him having to articulate them. It was a smile of relief. It was a smile one gives when one knows effort can be avoided._ **

**_“What… makes you think… I haven’t… tried it?”_ **

**_(The dream changed. You seemed to find yourself minutes ahead of where you had originally found yourself, if the chronometer built into the interior of the chamber was to be believed.)_ **

**_You eased his head against your shoulder with one hand and held the mask up to his nose and mouth with the other. You watched as little clouds of fog collected on the sides of the mask as he breathed._ **

**_“I’m sorry for upsetting you,” you whispered._ **

You sat up in bed, panting. This time, your tears mixed with your sweat to form a salty cascade of water down your face and onto your shirt. You still could not remember the man’s name. But now, his voice, along with his blue eyes, reigned over your conscious mind like a Hutt in the Outer Rim as you turned over.

You made a promise to yourself before you fell back asleep that you were going to bring a datapad to bed tomorrow night to log whatever you could remember from these dreams. If you were fortunate enough to have two, then you were going to be ready for the potential third.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I once read a VaderxReader fic on Wattpad where they kissed, and then I read the comments. Never again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Reader is THIS. FUCKING. CLOSE. To figuring shit out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay. This one's longer, and my week was filled with... exciting events. Events that may or may not have influenced the events in this chapter.
> 
> TW: car accident.

20:00 **What’s your favorite food?**

You decided on going for simpler questions like that. You both had exhausted what you wanted to tell of your daily itineraries and opinions, and no Imperial had stepped foot near your property since Ani promised he would make them leave you alone.

20:00 _I do not have one._

20:01 **You don’t have one?**

20:01 **You’ve been to so many places in this galaxy, and you don’t have a favorite food item?**

20:02 **You haven’t tried a bunch of cuisines?**

20:03 _I have._

20:03 _I have forgotten what they taste like._

That was preposterous. An Imperial officer on the Executor without a palette or preference? Your father’s ramblings made you believe that so much of your store’s profits were being taken by the Empire to give those signing off on genocides the most expensive foodstuffs in the galaxy.

20:04 **What do you eat, then? If you don’t mind me asking.**

20:05 _Military-grade rations._

20:05 _I do not have the luxury of being able to eat much._

20:05 _I eat less than those that serve under me._

20:06 _I find the dietary habits of the officers I have the misfortune of working with preposterous and wasteful._

There was yet another statement you hoped your father saw, wherever he happened to be.

20:06 _Since you obviously have one, tell me what it is._

20:07 **[Your favorite food.]**

20:08 **What do you remember of food? Before you were forced into rations?**

20:09 _I remember very little._

20:10 **God, your life is sad.** **I can’t imagine not remembering food.**

You sent that before you thought about what you had typed. In your defense, you were tired after a long day of rearranging the displays in your store. The store had yet to feel “normal” in the aftermath of the intrusion, as Ani liked to call it, and you thought mixing up the layout would bring new energy into the place. You were about to issue an apology when he responded.

20:12 _So I am aware._

20:12 _I do remember one thing._

You leaned over the keyboard, your eyes getting dangerously close to the screen. Ani did not share personal details very often, but when he did, he had this habit of making the most asinine things seem like the topics of theses, the subjects of museum exhibits, and the muses of some artists in a movement long forgotten to time.

20:13 _It was a pear. A Nubian pear._

20:13 _It was abhorrently sweet._

20:14 _And syrupy._

20:14 _A lot of the food of the Naboo is like that. I remember that, too._

20:15 _Frankly, I never understood how they can eat what they do and remain as thin as they are._

20:16 _I have known multiple people that were a part of the Naboo._

20:16 _They must know something the rest of us do not._

20:17 _However, I do not have much use for that knowledge, now._

20:18 **That’s a shame.**

20:18 **I would’ve liked to hear it.**

Naboo. You had been there once with your parents, and it was during that trip that your parents got the rug that was covering the cellar downstairs. It was just after the fall of the Republic and the rise of the Empire, and the remnants of the Separatist fleet had been taken care of. Your father wanted to take advantage of the fact that the government opened up civilian travel lanes to pay respects to the late Senator Amidala. She was, in his own words, “one of few politicians worth throwing your lot in with.”

Apart from helping your parents get the rug back into their rented ship and placing white flowers on the woman’s grave, you could only remember the way the mist from the waterfalls of Theed felt against your face.

You wondered if Ani enjoyed the waterfalls. He always had a way of seeming reserved whenever anything related to water came up in a conversation. Since he was from Tatooine, you could imagine his surprise at seeing all that naturally flowing water.

20:20 **If you could eat anything right now, what would you pick?**

20:21 **I know it’s impossible right now.**

20:21 **But I’m curious.**

20:22 _I fail to see why I should bother with such a question._

And just like that, he was an indignant stone wall.

20:23 **It’s just a question.**

20:24 **I’m not trying to do anything.**

20:24 **But I’m sorry if I’ve upset you.**

20:26 **I guess rations are pretty disgusting.**

20:26 _Indeed._

20:27 **You would think they would’ve come up with some different flavors for them by now. Instead of all that generic stuff.**

20:27 _Cherry._

20:28 **What do you mean by that?**

20:28 _If I could eat anything right now, I would want cherry Vitapaste._

20:29 _I do not think it would be possible for me to eat anything else. I also remember liking cherry flavoring._

You wondered how long a man had to be devoid of any sensory stimulation, especially pertaining to his perception of taste, to crave cherry flavoring in what was one of the worst abominations of nutrients ever created. You racked your brain for the names of the minor officers you were aware were onboard the Executor to see if anyone fit the description of someone that consumed Vitapaste all the time, but you were unable to think of anyone. Granted, you had only heard of their exploits in passing on the HoloNet, and there were likely thousands of officers on that ship that you had never heard of, but it still struck you as a detail that was crucial to figuring out who Ani was.

You really wanted to see what he looked like.

20:31 **Cherry Vitapaste it is, then.**

===

** Dream Log One  **

**Objective: Discover the purpose behind these recurring dream sequences, and potentially, the man in them.**

**I don’t have anything to report for this first log, but I guess I should type out what I can remember.**

  1. **The man in these dreams has blue eyes. And they’re the bluest eyes I’ve ever seen.**
  2. **The man in these dreams is deathly pale. I was able to recollect this detail as I mused over the two dreams I’ve already had. He’s the same color as the blank document I am typing this out on. I get the feeling he’s ill. With what, I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s even an illness; it could be something chronic, or something traumatic could’ve happened to him that’s made him bedridden, agoraphobic, or both. Regardless, it shows up on his face. I don’t remember being daunted by his appearance. But, I do remember feeling unsettled _for_ _him._**
  3. **I remember his voice. I remember it sounding strained, like it was painful for him to speak. This fact lends into my theory about him suffering from some mysterious illness, and it may be necessary to figure out its cause if I’m ever going to discover some more clues as to his identity.**
  4. **I wake up in a sweat, which is unusual, since I almost never sweat. Whatever these are, they’re taking it out of me.**
  5. **I just remembered this, but I wake up at three in the morning, according to the chronometer on my wall. My mother always told me that Felucians believed that the hours of three to five were when the “veil between worlds” was thinnest. Combined with what was said in point number four, I think this lends itself to the possibility that these could be visions. I also think it pertinent that I continue these logs because of this as well. If nothing comes of it, I will have at least enjoyed myself.**



**There aren’t a lot of clues to go by. There aren’t a lot of clues that could indicate that these dreams could be more than recurring bits of imagery my mind is clutching to as I sleep. Waking up at certain times could just be because of my circadian rhythm. I’m sure if I found some book of dream symbols in my shop downstairs I could interpret the meanings behind the physical attributes I can remember.**

**All that’s left for me to do now is wait and see if I have another dream that coincides with the first two.**

===

You became aware that you were on the ground when a first responder hovered over your vision, trying to see if you were awake. You managed to tell her that you were, and before you could perceive the change, you were lifted upright.

It was here that you saw what led to you being on the ground.

The land speeder was turned on its side, the metal junk in its netted back spilling out into the road along with the debris from the shop the speeder had crashed into. A steady plume of charcoal smoke wafted up from the hull, and you could see parts of the engine, which were exposed due to the crumpling of the metal hull. Another ambulance vehicle was situated near the crashed speeder, and a Rodian man was being treated on a stretcher while a Twi’lek woman stood nearby, screaming at him incoherently. Perhaps the most comical item in the whole affair was the bottle of glowing Corellian whiskey that was smashed on the sidewalk. The force from the crash had forced it from the cup holder, where it must have sat when it was not being shared between the Rodian and Twi’lek. Day drinking. So common in the Outer Rim.

“Ma’am. Ma’am.”

You turned to the first responder that had lifted you up from the ground. You had no clue how much time had passed from when the speeder had almost collided with you and when the two ambulances arrived. The local emergency station was nearby, but it still bothered you that, in your shock and your focus on survival, you lost track of time.

“Ma’am, please hurry up and stand over here. We don’t have all day.”

What a bitch. You almost died. You could not feel your legs as they carried you closer to where she was now standing. Was it even protocol for her to lift you up like that?

“Can you follow my finger, please?”

Her pointer finger passed in front of your face three times before she was satisfied.

“No concussion. Can you please stay here so a medical droid can look you over? And I’ll need your identification number.” 

A standard-issue medical droid emerged from the back of the ambulance, scanned your vitals with its infrared sensor system, and gave a panel of readings to the first responder. She typed your identification number in and bit her lip as she looked over your vitals. You, being the ever curious and self-conscious being you were, did not take calmly to that.

“Is there something wrong?” you asked.

She shook her head. “No.” She then went about pressing more buttons on the panel.

You cocked your head at her, ignoring your nerves to make a point. “I have a right to know if something’s wrong, here.” If Ani had taught you anything, it was to assert yourself when you wanted to know something.

“No ma’am,” she reiterated. “Nothing is wrong. Your vitals are normal, aside from an elevated heartrate.”

She turned her back to you again, and this time, she hunched closer to the panel. You figured out a way to look over her shoulder at what she was reviewing. You noticed that under your name, birthdate, and species was a banner that indicated you were a first-class Imperial citizen under special military protections. It implied that you were to be given an additional level of care not given to common citizens. No doubt that first responder was cursing herself for the nonchalant way with which she addressed you before she had your identification number and knew about the distinction in place.

That son of a bitch- to make you benefit again from the fascism you abhorred!

Still. You knew how lax the laws were in the Outer Rim when they were put into place. This likely was not the first incident caused by the two drunkards, but with you having a distinction that even backwater planets seemed to recognize, you wondered if some justice might actually be done in this situation. If the paramedics knew you were now classified as an elevated citizen, then they would have to inform the cops, which were looking the wrecked speeder over.

“Thank you for being so kind to me,” you said to the woman, hoping that might ease her worrying. Even if you had wanted to report her for not kissing your ass more when she found you, you did not know the person you were supposed to report that to. “You too, droid. I don’t know your serial number.”

“I AM MD-05212019,” it beeped. “IT IS AN HONOR TO SERVE SOMEONE LIKE YOU.”

You could not name anyone that could take care of you or your store in the aftermath of the accident, nor did you have a contingency plan for getting the mandated vaccine after you calmed your nerves. You knew of only one person that might be able to entertain and calm you.

11:11 **Hey.**

11:12 **I need to talk to you.**

As usual when you were in distress, he was quick to hop online. There must be some power beyond your imagination making sure your friend was not busy when you needed someone to talk to.

11:12 _What has happened?_

11:13 _You would not message me like this unless there was something wrong._

Oh, where did you begin? How could you even begin to articulate the things that had gone wrong with you that morning?

11:14 **I got a call that I was supposed to report to the local barracks for my vaccine.**

11:14 **For the new xenovirus strain, you know?**

You muttered expletives as your fingers shook as you tried to type on your communicator. Your hands had only been lightly scraped when you reached out to break your jump away from the wayward speeder, but something far more cumbersome than scrapes in need of cleaning was taking over your fingers. Nerves. Belated nerves. You would have to catch him up on the events of the day and ask him about your newfound status when you calmed down. Right now, you just wanted someone outside of medical personnel to address you.

“Ma’am? We’ll need to clean up those scrapes on your hands and knees.”

11:16 **Sorry i need to do something**

11:17 **Tell u in a minute**

You sat in your living room, and you had your hands clasped around a cup of tea. You found the heat from the ceramic mug eased the throbbing which settled into the scrapes beneath the scrupulous bandages. You told your friend you wanted some time to yourself after your second encounter with death in the span of a month. Frankly, it seemed like your life had been picking up the pace in terms of both cataclysmic crises and mystic visions ever since you started talking to him. You considered yourself lucky he had yet to even give you a lecture on what you knew he perceived as your penchant for getting into trouble.

You were taking a sip from the mug, letting the liquid ease your tired throat from hyperventilating and groaning in an attempt to calm yourself after you got home, when a ring of your doorbell and a series of soft yet steady knocks came on your front door. Wincing as you stood up from the sofa and running a hand over your knees, you shouted, “Coming!”

You made your way down the stairs and pressed the open button on the panel beside your front door, and the hydraulic system hissed as it pulled it open, revealing a young and disheveled Imperial officer, a Stormtrooper, and a short and stubby nurse in Porg scrubs. The nurse carried a small, medical grade cannister under her arm.

“Pardon me, miss,” the officer said, his voice soft yet quick. “We received word that you would be allowed to have the mandated vaccine administered to you in your apartment.”

You wondered if that was Ani’s doing or if the paramedic woman arranged this to be sure you were not going to report her for being short with you.

“Right.” You motioned them forward. “Come in.”

You stepped aside to let the officer, the nurse in scrubs, and the Stormtrooper into your apartment. You walked up the stairs behind them. The nurse gestured to the sofa where you had just been sitting with your tea, and you wondered how your life had suddenly become partial to dramatic turns.

He was the first to message you when evening came. You were watching videos of calves being cute as they tried to explore the world. You always laughed at those. You always liked the way they romped around in the early springs on Stewjon, trying to figure out the world and trying to avoid their overprotective mothers.

21:11 _Are you hurting?_

Straight to the point, even in times of duress. You found the stiffness in your hands impacted your typing speed.

21:12 **I’m just a little sore. But that’s just from clenching up when it happened.**

21:12 **My shop won’t be open for the next week or so.**

21:13 **But it’ll be alright.**

21:13 **I’m just going to rest in my place.**

21:14 _Do you require any groceries? Over-the-counter pain relief?_

That made you smile. Your bottom lip hurt from where you had unconsciously bit down on it as you jumped out of the way of the speeder, and the smile pulled on the bitemarks that were imbedded in its surface.

21:14 **I went grocery shopping a few days ago. And my medicine cabinet is stocked.**

21:15 **But thank you.**

21:15 **Did you seriously get those people to come and give me my vaccine?**

21:16 _I did not._

21:16 _But I am glad someone local decided to show some initiative. I did not want your health to suffer because you happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time._

That was nice and all, but…

21:17 **Why did you give me a special class distinction?**

He typed a message, and then deleted it.

21:18 _I see you have discovered it._

21:18 _Very well._

21:19 _I was concerned in the aftermath of the Reeper incident that his replacement would try to bother you._

21:20 _Most of the people who work for the Empire are lacking in cognitive function, but even they would notice that your store would be an exposed link in the system, so to speak._

21:21 _I did not want to receive word, if I could receive word on you at all, that you had been killed behind your cash exchange computer._

21:22 _It was the only way afforded to me to ensure your safety without impacting your quality of life in a negative way._

21:23 _We are safe thanks to my modifications. But it would look suspicious if someone were to notice I fired not one but two officers who happened to want to go book shopping. Or if I said a bookstore for which the Empire saw no value was to be left alone and treated with great respect._

21:24 _Unless you would like to call whatever this is off?_

You were beginning to see him as a constant in your life. You did not yet know what was going to become of you two, but you did know that you found him too enchanting to want to him to leave. Plus, you could not argue with the logic of what he was saying. Yes, you hated it, but you were in a safer position now than you had ever been in your life. You knew what the Empire had done to Ryloth. It was only a matter of time before they started doing that to Stewjon. All it took was one convenient innovation for the military machine that needed a certain mineral found only on places like Stewjon.

You had your morals, yet you also needed to survive to act on them. Perhaps, too, if circumstances became even more dire than they already were, you could use that status and your current connection to help someone else who might be a slave to the Empire?

21:26 **I would very much like to keep talking to you.**

21:26 **If you will allow me to, that is.**

21:27 **I understand your reasoning completely.**

21:27 **I should have thought more about the implications of this when we first started talking.**

21:28 **I would love it if you forgave me for my naïve nature. I’m just a book seller.**

You thought against saying what you said next, but you both were being more open and honest with each other than you ever had been before, so you decided that it was prudent just to take the risk and say it.

21:29 **This is one of the nicest things someone has ever done for me, even if I dislike its implications.**

21:30 _It was not an issue._

21:31 _I do not have the luxury of being nice to many._

21:32 **Ani?**

21:32 _Yes?_

You wanted to ask this. You wanted to ask this ever since you found out he hated his job and what he had to do to the galaxy on a daily basis.

21:33 **Why don’t you leave the Empire? Why stay?**

21:33 **You’re nothing like the others.**

21:33 **No other Imperial officer would have done that.**

21:33 **It’s not as though the Empire has done anything to help you.**

He was not totally innocent. You knew that. You were horrified at the thought of what might have happened to Lieutenant Reeper, as much as you were horrified of how many conscripted soldiers, prisoners, and “traitors” had died on his watch. You were a liar if you said a fantasy did not exist in the back of your mind of you both leaving your lives behind for the Rebellion. In this fantasy, you both would meet for the first time on some base on some out-of-the-way moon.

21:35 _You know nothing of what you speak._

And with that, his profile went offline.

The following morning you were making breakfast for yourself when the doorbell rang yet again.

“What do these assholes need now?” you muttered under your breath as you took the pan of eggs you were cooking off the hot stove eye, which you promptly turned off. You knew your Tooka was too lazy to jump onto the counter and eat your breakfast while your back was turned. Wiping your hands on your apron, you ran downstairs and opened the door.

Sitting in front of the entrance to your apartment was a box containing what you realized was a grocery order. There was no note attached to it, but you knew who sent it. Looking down the lane in front of your store/apartment, you observed the local carrier speeding away on their mail land rover.

You pulled out your communicator as soon as you got the box upstairs and onto your dining table. It was harder than you thought it would be. A night’s rest had not done much for your sore limbs and bruises, which you were upset to discover.

8:47 **Seriously?**

8:48 **A grocery order, Ani?**

You observed him log on, and he seemed to take a moment to ponder what you said.

8:51 _I must have ordered it by mistake._

8:52 **By mistake?!**

8:52 **Ani, what the hell!**

8:53 **Did you make an order as soon as I said I was going to be staying home for a week?**

He typed two messages out before he sent you one.

8:55 _There are days when I cannot do much for myself because of how busy I am, and there is very little I would not do to have someone do things like that for me._

8:56 _I was trying to “put myself in your shoes.”_

8:57 _I was also worried for your welfare, since your store was going to be closed._

8:57 _It would not do for either of us for you to suffer._

8:58 _I was reserving the order in case you changed your mind about groceries._

Ugh. He made it so hard for you to stay mad at him. Your anger dissipated into a sense of annoyed frustration as you decided to look through what he got you.

You put your communicator on the table and began sorting through the box. There were few groceries inside, and you noticed that Ani prioritized dietary staples like bread, blue milk, and eggs. You were secretly thankful for the eggs, since your breakfast and your desire to make a cake to comfort yourself meant that half of your current carton was gone. A little rummaging helped you discover a small can of caf grounds and a container full of [your favorite food]. The brands associated with each product were more expensive than you could usually afford. You made out with the generic brand versions of products you needed during your weekly shopping trips. Even the little cartoons on each of the products seemed happier and more well-drawn than the ones on their generic knockoffs.

Aside from those foodstuffs, you noticed that he had thought to include a container of laundry pods, a vial of pain relief pills, and some oil designed specifically for your cleaning droid. It must have taken a lot to put this order together and get it to the Outer Rim, even if you lived on one of the more populous and “put-together” of those planets. Shifting through the supplies, you noticed a small bag of organic Tooka litter was included, too. You did not even know they made organic Tooka litter. He had included the basics of what you were going to need to stay alone for a week. You did not want to admit it, but you doubted you were going to be in the mood to venture to the market if you needed anything he bought for you.

It was very, very thoughtful. Overbearing, too.

You grabbed your communicator.

9:00 **Okay. This stuff is nice.**

9:00 **But you didn’t have to do this for me.**

9:01 **I can take care of myself. I’m an adult.**

9:01 **You need to respect my boundaries on this.**

9:02 **I get the Reeper thing, but this is too far.**

9:02 **Are we clear?**

His reply came quickly.

9:02 _We are._

You looked back at the stuff on your table, and you could not help but laugh. The image of your friend sitting in front of his computer in some forgotten corner of the Executor, putting an order together, and absentmindedly hitting the order button was too much for your composure. The powers that put you two together knew you needed it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you caught the Easter Egg in this chapter.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, everyone. I've gone back and fixed some mistakes and formatting issues in the previous chapters. I was as old as I am today when I realized it's "datapad" instead of "data pad." 
> 
> Here's another short one. But it's an interesting one.
> 
> I initially planned for Reader to meet Anakin young and preside over his tenure with the Empire for a while until they officially met, and then we could get some spicy fights as Reader tried to lead a life that Vader could never have, but then I realized that Reader deserved a bit better than that. So, we're going to be picking up some steam. 
> 
> TW: some slight misogyny, references to prostitution, and caregiving. I'd also like to preface this chapter by saying that I personally am disabled, and I take care of someone with a disability. I'm trying to bring some of the sensitivity to this story that I would have wanted to see in regards to Vader's disability in the actual movies. Even if he is the villain.  
> 

**_Your knuckles turned white from your grip on the metal cables, and their ridges dug into your flesh and formed canyons the way rivers and earthquakes had formed the mountains and valleys back on Stewjon. You were not mindful of that, though. You were focused solely on getting the cables attached to their sockets on his limb connection disks. Despite them being poorly aligned to begin with, they had to be attached to the room’s main computer for impulse readings. The ports on the cables, which were covered with medical-grade silicone, needed to be securely attached to his limbs before you could even think about filling the tub with bacta. You cursed under your breath as one of the tubes came undone and clanked against the metal siding. He was certainly getting cold as he waited on you._ **

**_Ani sat on the chair built into the bath, watching you over the ridges of the oxygen mask you had attached to the collar. You had tried and failed to remove it, and the endeavor ended with you both in tears. If he could speak to you with it on, he had yet to show you. Instead, those blue eyes followed your every move without appearing judgmental. If anything, he still seemed amused at your finagling of the equipment. He would have been able to enjoy his bath by now if he had used the droid._ **

**_This, you surmised, was what you got for letting your goddamn heart get ahead of your brain yet again. Your mother would be disgusted at you for the person you lent your goodwill to. Frankly, if her ghost appeared to you both and admonished you for what was happening, you would have kept your focus on getting Ani ready for the bath. In the words of the Felucian shamans, the dead could bury their dead, and you had a duty to someone that was still somewhat alive._ **

**_You were actually proud of yourself for how much you had managed to do for him with only a few directions. You had even removed the catheter and made sure the stoma bag was tight. You knew the bacta solution he bathed in would disrupt any loose cybernetics hanging around in his stomach area, should it happen to get inside of him._ **

**_You asked him why he was not given stronger cybernetic enhancements. He refused to give you a direct answer. You also asked him what you should do about the blueish-black flesh growing over the edges of his limb stubs. He refused to answer that at all._ **

**_The final cable snapped into place, and you heard a hiss as it activated. The computer overhead flashed three times to let you know it was safe to turn on the faucet. The faucet was connected to a vat of ready-made bacta solution that sat in the corner, and it also fed the nearby bacta tank._ **

**_You learned, over the course of undressing him and getting him in the bath, that most of his personal medical chamber had been rigged by him. The Empire reasoned that expenses could be spared when it came to his health, which meant that most of the care had to be taken into the patient’s hands. You did not ask to what extent his own self-hatred factored into the Empire’s decision. You learned he often lied when it came to the extent of his health issues._ **

**_(The dream changed. You noticed the bath was now filled, and he was now reclining against the edge of the tub, his scarred head resting on the rim. The angry welt that rested pronounced on top of his crown like the way a crack shows up on velvet was in full view.)_ **

**_You noticed a stool sitting idly near the tub. Deciding to put it to use, you guided it over to the tub with your foot, secretly happy that it did not make noise as it dragged across the floor, and you sat down on top of it. Your face was now at the same level as his as he reclined in the tub._ **

**_“Is this okay?” you asked him._ **

Yes, ** _you heard in your head._** You did better than I thought you would.

**_“I took too long,” you said. “I can’t imagine how much pain you’re in.”_ **

It is nothing new to me, **_he said._** It was better today, as you were here to guide me through it. The droids can be unintentionally rough.

**_“I didn’t think you were the type for spa days,” you said, hoping to liven up the atmosphere._ **

**_His eyes squinted at you for saying that, but he said nothing. You figured he was too tired to attempt a witty comeback._**

**_You looked around the room. Aside from the leather body glove, which was hanging on the far wall, and the large towels used to dry him off after a bacta soak, there was nothing small enough for you to put under his head. Nothing practical, at least._ **

**_The sudden movement caused him to cough. “What- what are you- “_ **

**_“Sssh.” You used your hand to guide his head back down onto your shirt. It was made from stiff fabric, but it would be a buffer between his head and the tub. “This is better, isn’t it?”_ **

**_And with that, you took the hand that guided him onto the makeshift pillow and began to rub circles on the side of his face._ **

You awoke to your arms wrapped around your pillow and one of your hands rubbing circles into the satin fabric. You sat up in bed, the menagerie in front of you. Your brain failed to fully register it as you tried to cling to the details of the dream that were still available to you. The harder you clung the faster the details faded. The more anxious you became, the less you could focus on the details. It had always been this way for you- dreams going as quickly as they had come to you. You grabbed a hold of the few details that refused to leave you. The stench of bacta was one; you could never forget the way its smell clung to everything it was near. You grabbed the datapad off the nightstand and opened a new document.

===

**Dream Log Two**

**New Info: Bacta. He needs bacta. Lots of bacta. I can still smell its pineapple-y stench, and it’s almost like I got some of it in my nostrils or on my nightclothes. This information lends itself to my theory that he’s been injured in some way. I think an illness could be present, but I think I’m dealing with something that was traumatic. What it is I’m afraid to find out. I think it’s permanent.**

**I just want to figure out why my brain is showing me this.**

**I also remember the way his skin felt. I woke up rubbing my pillow the same way I was rubbing his face. It’s definitely synthetic skin. Real, human skin doesn’t feel stiff like that. It could be related to his injuries.**

**I just wish I had more details. If I could just remember something else, for crying out loud! I don’t even know if he’s real.**

===

You waited three days before talking with him again. It was partly due to nerves. You had, after all, nearly been sent to rejoin your parents and most of the population of your family’s planet. It was partly due to the fact that you felt like a boundary had been overstepped in him accidentally sending you groceries. And yet another part of it was related to you being secretly thankful for his mistake.

It occurred to you, as you made pancakes with the eggs and milk that he bought for you, that you had been unprepared for such an event, and you would have certainly been in a bind had something more serious happened to you than what had transpired. With the bandages needing to be changed and the messes you were getting into with two injured hands, you were going through the laundry pods you kept stocked in the closet quickly. The sweat your nightmares produced meant you had to change your sheets and wash your pajamas often, too. You figured you should ration the rest of the supplies he got you. You decided to bookkeep one afternoon while you were bored, and it turned out that you were going to be spread thin for the next month or so. That was when the next festival was. That was when you could expect more customers.

In hindsight, he had been right about everything. Even when he made a mistake, he found a way to be right.

You wanted to start your message out with that on the evening of the third day, but something inside you made you stop. You knew he was the type to get haughty when events proved him right. You still were not in the mood to deal with his shit, as much as you wanted his good humor. For someone that hated being an Imperial, he seemed to have developed his own form of Imperial snobbishness that leaked through his obvious Outer Rim upbringing and disdain for his environment. You had seen snippets of it over the course of your time talking together.

22:00 **Thank you again for the stuff.**

There. That was decent enough.

22:01 **My cat liked the litter.**

He jumped online.

22:02 _Think nothing of it._

22:04 _I thought perhaps you had a concussion and were unconscious in your space._

22:05 _I see this is not the case._

A warm feeling emerged in the center of your chest and spread up into your shoulders and down into your abdomen.

22:06 **I may have been, and I just don’t remember. They did speed through testing me.**

You waited for him to type a reply. You were still uncertain about what you could talk about, since you had barely processed the HoloNet dramas you watched during your time off, and you were not even sure he even had the time to watch the HoloNet.

Luckily for you, he seemed to be in a talkative mood.

22:10 _What did you want to be when you were younger?_

22:11 **What do you mean by that?**

22:11 _Come, now._

22:11 _Did you see yourself in the family business forever?_

When you were younger, you had as many delusions of grandeur and adventure as any normal child would have. You saw yourself flying the galaxy, partying among species you had never heard of, and showing off your mechanical and strategic prowess as you protected your ship from space pirates. You saw yourself studying in universities in Coruscant, bringing the knowledge you gleaned from reading while you helped your father in the store into your research projects. You saw yourself meeting the Jedi and standing in awe of the peaceful majesty with which you had been made to believe they carried themselves with. The rise of the Empire had dashed those dreams.

22:13 **I wanted adventure.**

22:14 **Don’t know how I would’ve paid for it, though.**

22:14 **Could’ve always become a hooker.**

22:15 **I should probably become a hooker now.**

22:15 _That is preposterous._

22:16 **Well, it’s the truth.**

He started typing, and he just kept typing. You wondered if you were finally about to get the lecture that you were overdue for. He seemed the type to lecture those he cared about over trivial things. That is, if he even cared about you as much as you wanted to think he did, given his capacity for saving your skin. But you were surprised with the brevity of the message you received.

22:22 _If you need help, just say so._

22:23 _I could find it in me to buy more of your abysmal “literature.”_

22:24 **Hey. That book is not abysmal.**

22:25 **Where I come from, it’s considered one of the best things ever written.**

22:26 _That shows how diverse this galaxy is in opinion._

Honestly, even if he made you laugh, you could not find it in yourself to humor him sometimes.

You went back to watching cute animal videos before he messaged you again.

22:30 _The fifth anniversary of the Empire is coming in a few standard months._

22: 31 _The Executor will be doing a galactic tour for two weeks leading up to the Coruscant parade._

22:31 _We have all been briefed on it._

He typed two messages and deleted both of them.

22:33 _At least it will only be for two. They made us tour for three weeks the last time._

22:33 _I do not know if I will be able to contact you during that time._

Yikes. You remembered how much Ani hated crowds. You remembered how much Ani hated taking to bureaucrats, politicians, and his fellow officers. Those two weeks would surely involve him attending gatherings with all the above. You did not doubt the alcohol and power-induced genial atmosphere would lead someone into saying something to him similar to what that other officer had said about people from the Outer Rim. Even if they had no clue as to his personal history, they could still overstep a boundary with him.

22:34 **Do you know where you’ll be going?**

22: 35 _No. They want to send us into the systems with known Rebel activity._

22:35 _This tour is a scare tactic._

22:35 _The Rebels change systems constantly._

22:36 _The locations will be decided upon the week before the tour begins._

You had not expected the upper echelons of the Empire to decide on things like that so close to the tour. That would mean that whatever star systems the Executor was scheduled to visit would have to crunch to get everything ready for the visiting officers. You knew first-hand how hard it was to get things ready for the tastes of the Empire. Shortly after Palpatine announced himself as the Emperor, a group of Imperials decided to come to Stewjon to scope out the planet. They never came to your town, but you remembered the mayor going from shop to shop and yelling at the owners to fix the most irrelevant of details. This was before your father managed to secure a trip to Naboo, and the Felucian rug that covered the cellar earned your family a barrage of incoherent verbiage and spit.

22:38 **Would you be willing to see me if you came near my system?**

22:38 **And if you could get away?**

22:39 **I would really like to meet my knight in shining armor.**

22:39 **That is what you are, you know.**

22:40 **You’ve helped save my life twice now.**

Oh, boy. That was bound to trigger a lecture.

22:42 _I would not wish to meet you if I should have to go to Stewjon._

22:43 _I would like there to be some distance between us._

22:43 _I am not curious to find out what could happen if our paths crossed outside of the Intranet._

22:44 _I will admit this has been a blessing I did not know that I wanted._

You leaned back in your chair. You still really wanted to know what he looked like, but you could not argue with the logic of his apprehension about meeting you. If you were honest with yourself, a part of you did not want to meet him. You were nervous the illusion that you had created of him as this hero behind enemy lines would be shattered the moment you laid eyes on his true form.

22:46 **I can accept that.**

22:47 **But, maybe someday? When things are peaceful again?**

22:48 _[Y/N], this galaxy has never been peaceful._

22:49 _With continuous civil war, it never will be._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yep. We're in Fallen Order. I'm also disregarding the timeline for the Executor, because screw it. It's a cool ship. It's Vader's ship. We're having it in the story.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter out. My mental health has been tanking, I have yet another fic that needs to be updated, and I'm about to have to make one of the most important decisions of my life. 
> 
> Also, they're about to have a fight. And I played around with the timeline for Vader Immortal. So there you go.

He kept you company in the evenings during the rest of your week off. Every time you would begin talking with him, he would ask about your health, both physical and emotional, and how you were coping with being holed up in your home. The authorities came by your apartment to take your statement, but other than that, no medical personnel bothered to check on you. You wondered if the protection Ani gave you had something to do with that. You also wondered what your relief at not having to deal with the situation anymore because of it said about you and your true character. You rationalized that anyone in your situation would feel the same way. After all, you were still a bystander to someone else’s choices.

Even though the screen and millions of light years separated you from him, and even if the signs of his sympathy for you were composed of nothing more than lines of code relaying simple messages across star systems, his concern brought you a measure of peace the likes of which you could only remember feeling as a child. That peace- that feeling that everything was eventually going to be made right. That feeling that meant you could weather any obstacle, since every obstacle and every triumph seemed as small as the mundane, commonplace occurrences of life. That feeling that it was possible for two people to cross the divide created between their souls by matter and energy and, for one brief moment, both relate to and mirror each other perfectly.

It was your last night off when you logged on to find him already online. That tiny, green light next to his profile picture let you know that he was waiting for you.

21:12 **Are you sure you don’t have something better to do than to wait around for some peasant, Mr. Executor?**

That was a nickname you had come up for him ever since you found out where he worked. He was probably going to object to you calling him that when you finally went back to work, but you decided to have your fun while you could.

21:13 _I have made it clear that you are one of my concerns._

21:13 _It is not much for me to make time for you._

21:13 _There are a lot of things that can be made irrelevant when one cares enough._

21:14 _You know my history._

His kindness with you made you wonder how he was with the woman he previously loved. You wondered how he addressed her and how she addressed him. You wondered what he told her when they were alone, and you wondered if he was as eloquent with her as he was with you. You wondered how gentle he might have been; was he the type to enjoy just being close to the person he loved? It made you wonder what kind of a father he would have been, if he had been given the chance to show the galaxy. Then again, you could also imagine the turmoil his child would have felt at having someone so obviously… _Driven_ as a parent. Wealthy, too. Your parents provided, but they were also laissez-faire when it came to work and not in terms of economics. You often ruminated on the reality that you could have also inherited a larger customer base had your father thought to make business chrono-cards.

21:16 **Still. It’s nice.**

His act of altruism, even if unintentional, combined with the disillusionment that peeked its head out from around his words when he spoke, had you reflecting on what Ani truly believed in, and it was not necessarily in regards to politics. 

21:19 **Let me ask you something. Cause I’ve been thinking about it, and I want to know.**

21:20 **Are you religious?**

21:21 _In a sense._

21:21 _I cannot articulate the scope of that which I believe in._

21:21 _Nor could anyone else, no matter how hard they might have tried._

21:22 _And what about you?_

You had yet to think about religion in a sense beyond what was described in the theological textbooks you had downstairs. The Empire did away with most of the religious groups in the galaxy, both malicious and benign. If you wanted to, there would have been few avenues other than your inner speculation for you to explore the nature of the universe. All you possessed, as usual, was what you knew. And what you knew was…

21:24 **I believe some of what the shamans believed.**

21:25 **I think their broader views were more on the money.**

21:25 **Things about interconnectivity, and all that.**

21:26 **Not really into the “spirits” thing.**

That was one thing you especially missed about Felucia. Even though your family had migrated to Felucia a few hundred years before you were born, and even if you were raised off-world, the locals- the true native Felucians- had possessed a perspective on the galaxy and the people in it you had yet to encounter from another group. Not even the Jedi and their views on the “Force” encapsulated everything they knew.

You did not possess any relics of their culture and their ways. You wanted to- not for selfish reasons, but because you felt it prudent that someone in the galaxy who knew them, appreciated them, and had the space to keep their relics safe did just that. You wondered if there were any left, as it was hard enough for someone to come across references to the Jedi, much less Jedi cultural objects. The black market had taken what was dispersed outside of the Jedi Temple. References to the Jedi alone used to be ubiquitous.

21:28 _“And all that.”_

21:28 _You have a strange way of talking about the undercurrent of our galaxy._

There he was again with the touchiness. His touchiness occurred with a rhyme and a reason that you were still trying to decipher.

21:29 **I have a strange way of talking about everything. You know that.**

21:30 **It’s called growing up as a repressed child that was employed in a bookstore.**

21:31 _I was not trying to insult you._

21:31 _I respect your views. You are aware of that._

21:32 _I would not still be talking to you on this matter if I did not._

21:33 _I regret ever being religious as opposed to “connected.”_

Connected? Like in the way happenstance connected you to him?

21:35 **Were you ever part of a church or something? A group?**

21:36 _Unfortunately._

21:36 _I was viewed as less-than-human among them for things that were out of my control._

21:36 _I will say they possessed a backwards view on technological evolution._

You wanted to ask if the Empire was really any different from them, especially since his protection from their cruelty came from the rank he had. And you were going to, and you were probably going to regret asking that, if he had stopped typing.

21:37 _If I seemed more empathetic towards you this week, know that it stems from that._

21:37 _You have endured something traumatic. You deserve a chance for reprieve._

21:38 _I am not as blind to the implications of my actions as people think I am._

21:38 _I am certain life would be more easily lived for some if I was._

Again, it was nice to see him say that. At least he knew he could be in the wrong- the wrong as you perceived it from your tiny corner of the galaxy.

21:40 **Again,** **you think I was going to call us off when you ordered all that food? Be honest.**

21:40 **I won’t say I wasn’t unnerved.**

21:41 **But frankly, we both know enough about each other to do each other in.**

21:41 **And you should know that I would never do that to you.**

21:42 **You aren’t the type of person to draw something like that out of me.**

21:42 **Even if I don’t really understand the ins and outs of what’s going on here.**

What was Ani to you? Was he just your friend? A guardian angel that communicated to you through chat messages from behind a government-immune firewall? A way for you to remind yourself that there was more going on that just what was happening in your tiny, Stewjonian town? A man who helped you keep hope that there were more resources available to a person like you, who was really so small in comparison to the undiscernible plethora of life going on in the galaxy?

You knew that he really made you feel special- like you were a distinct grain of sand in the dune sea of people under him. You loved his attention. You loved his compassion. You even loved when he would stop typing one of his own messages to let you finish yours.

Your parents, for all their emphasis on free-will and developing a distinct personality, had not made you feel as elevated as he did. You were a distinct person to them, but you were also their child, and you were a child that grew up in turbulent times.

21:43 _How can you be so certain?_

21:43 _I am only a man behind a screen._

21:43 _A man, I should remind you, that you disagree with vehemently._

Yes, based on what faction he belonged to. But the more you reflected on it, the more you realized how closely you both resembled each other in worldview and actions. You were certain you would have ordered groceries for Ani if the roles had been reversed. You could not name very many people, of the few people you could name, that would do that for someone they cared about but had never met in-person.

Then again, you got attached to your cat the moment you saw her and her dying mother together in an alley. With the apparent mange, no one with any common sense would have gone near those cats had they not been a trained animal welfare professional. Perhaps you were not the best person to use as a metric for forming healthy attachments.

21:44 **You’ve also done a lot for me. More than I’ve done for you.**

21:44 **I may never get the chance to pay you back.**

21:44 **And so what?**

21:45 **I’m just as thankful for this as you are.**

21:45 **You know how boring my life is here?**

21:46 **I’m a real-life version of the caricature you Imperials push out to get young women into marrying your officers. I’m an over-educated, Tooka-loving woman.**

21:46 **Even if I disagree with that caricature.**

21:46 **I’d love to give myself to something greater than I am.** **One day, at least.**

You had no idea, as you clicked the ‘send’ button after finishing that last message, as to what you were going to cause to move within your mysterious Intranet friend.

21:47 _Do not talk of yourself in such a manner._

21:47 _I refuse to sit and watch as you degrade who you are._

21:47 _You are one of many intelligent and kind women across the galaxy._

21:47 _You are better than that abhorrent standard they have produced._

It was unusual for you to get a rise out of him that resulted in such a barrage of messages. Yes, he talked a lot when he was going over his life’s story, but the energy surrounding those, along with the speed with which he made them, had never been created on his behalf before.

21:49 **I take it she would have been the subject of scorn if she was still alive.**

He tried to type out six messages before he settled on one.

21:53 _Absolutely._

21:53 _You are observant._

“Come on, [Y/N],” you muttered under your breath. “Don’t make him upset.”

21:54 **I apologize if I made you think about something you didn’t want to.**

21:54 **You’ve challenged what I think about things. That’s for sure.**

21:55 **In a lot of ways, you’ve made me more sympathetic.**

21:55 **It was one of the reasons why I wanted to meet you.**

Again, he tried to type out four messages before finding what he wanted to say.

21:57 _It is easy for you to posture like that when you are not aware of the truth._

“So?!”

Your shouting scared your Tooka, and she jumped off the couch and went and hid in the litter box. You would make it up to her later with nip.

“There’s a lot you don’t know either, Ani.”

21:58 **As it is for everyone.**

21: 59 _And so it is. You are still proving yourself to be observant._

21:59 _But you do not want to meet me._

22:00 _You think you do, but it would be unwise for you to do so._

22:00 _Did I not go over this with you?_

“Of course you did!” you shouted again, hitting your left hand on your desk. You immediately regretted that action, for even though scrupulous scrubbing and bandages had helped your palms heal, there was enough scabbing for the impact to cause pain to ripple from the middle of your hand into each finger.

22:01 **You did.**

22:01 **Don’t patronize me.**

22:01 **And even if you did, that doesn’t mean I have to agree with your reasoning.**

22:01 **I’m my own woman. Remember?**

You were a person with your own motivations. God. Damn. It.

22:02 _Strange._

22:02 _You can be so wise and yet so naïve._

Oh, you had something to say to that.

22:02 **Strange.**

22:02 **You can be so compassionate and open and yet so obstinate and aloof.**

22:03 **Why can’t you just make the choice to be decent all the time, Ani?**

22:03 **Damn, the Empire really has gotten to you.**

22:03 **You were smart enough to rig your messaging system.**

22:03 **Are you just stupid in terms of everything else?**

22:03 **Or are you embarrassed to discover the person you’re really talking to?**

22:04 **Better yet, are you so embarrassed about who you are that you don’t want anyone to connect your true self to your face and body?**

22:04 **Why would someone like you even bother with the chat system, anyway?**

22:04 **Are you really that lonely?**

22:04 **It’s so easy to see why, sometimes.**

22:05 **When are you going to realize that I'm not your damn child? Or pet?**

You leaned back in your chair and crossed your arms. A sense of accomplishment and dread, which only appears when one has said exactly what they wanted to say exactly when they meant to say it, crept into your chest.

He should know by now the extent to which you valued him.

You were about to kill a man over books, for example. He saved you from becoming a murderer and terrorist in the span of what? A couple of minutes? Did he think that such an action on his part wasn’t going to feed your curiosity? Your commitment?

You were uncertain as to how you truly felt about Ani. But regardless of how you felt, the sense of accomplishment became overpowered by the sense of dread, and you experienced a new sensation as it faded.

The feeling of being a sack of shit.

You should not have said that. You really should not have said that, even if you meant every word.

A tear collected on the rim of your left eye and, becoming too large to remain there, made a salty course down your cheek. It stopped momentarily to hang from the edge of your chin before making the short descent onto your shirt. You pulled the fabric away from your chest so you could look at it. You wanted to look at anything but the screen. You knew of multiple people from your past that would have left you for issuing such an offensive barrage. Whether they were right to do so was something for you to ruminate on.

“Oh, damn. Damn, Ani.”

22:07 _I am only trying to keep you safe._

22:07 _My apologies._

22:09 **Look. I’ve had a rough week.**

22:09 _I am aware._

22:10 _I think you need some more space._

22:10 _I am going to give that space to you._

You looked away from your monitor. You did not need to see the light next to his profile picture transform from green to red to know that he had logged off. You would have stepped away from the person that said something akin to what you said to him, too.

Without bothering to log out of the system, you pressed the small button on the underside of your monitor that turned your computer off. You made quick work of tuning off the lights in the living room and your personal office space- _click! click! click! -_ before closing yourself off in your bedroom. You kicked off your house shoes and, not even bothering with the blankets or the clothes you wore that day, got into a fetal position on top of your bed.

Your cat could wait on the nip.

**_“You… have cursed me more… than you can ever know.”_ **

**_You listened to the cycles of the respirator, waiting on him to elaborate. Whether it was from reluctance, his capacity for being brief, or an inability to articulate much after becoming relaxed in the bath, he said nothing else._ **

**_“Maybe I have,” you said. “But you talk like you haven’t done the same to me.”_ **

**_He had yet to open his eyes since shutting them as you placed his head on the pillow you made from your shirt. He was sitting slightly crooked in the tub to allow the bacta jets to hit the areas of his back that had experienced chaffing from the suit. You learned that the body glove was a size too small for him._ **

**_“How is this going to end, Ani?” you said. “You can’t keep me here forever. I know that shrine’s construction isn’t going well.”_ **

It’s not a shrine! ** _he yelled in the Force._** It’s a portal.

**_“Well, it’s not going to work.” You stood up from your stool. “It might as well be a shrine. You would be better off just building a shrine to her instead of trying to yank her out of the void.”_ **

**_You were not surprised to discover that the invisible hand that had ended the lives of so many Imperial officers did not close around your neck. You seized the opportunity granted by his respect for you to continue to make your respect for him known._ **

**_“When are you going to let go of the past, Ani?”_ **

===

** Dream Log Three  **

**I don’t have much to say. I don’t even know if I want to use the normal formatting for what I need to put down, since what I now have to contribute is so small in size that it doesn’t seem like it fits in with the other clues.**

**He misses someone. I don’t know who they are, nor do I know what their relation to him is. I just know that they aren’t there.**

**He’s a lot like someone else, actually.**

**===**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have no clue what Felucian shamans believe. I'm really bullshitting, here.


End file.
